There is a way out of any situation, even when it seems that everything is irretrievably lost. If you did something and later realized your mistake, you can always try to fix it. First of all, stop beating yourself up, leave all your worries in the past. It is better to try to correct the situation, because anyone can make a mistake. The main thing is not to be inactive and do everything possible to change the situation if you really realized your mistakes.
Loss of a loved one
Unfortunately, there is nothing to fix here. But you can devote your life to something noble, something that will make your relatives, friends or strangers happy. The most effective remedy for depression is useful work. Do charity work, start helping children, the elderly or sick people. Stop trying, live in the present, and take care of those around you so you don't get even more bitter disappointment in the future. Finally, think about what that person would like, what actions he would expect from you, whether he would approve of your depression.
Missed Opportunities
Often, people put things off until later, justifying this by saying that there is plenty of time ahead. In fact, life is not as long as we would like. If it seems to you that you missed a lot of opportunities, and you only have to live, being content with what you have, then you are wrong. You need to understand that everything that happens does not always depend on you and your will. It always happens exactly what should happen. Each phenomenon has its own reason, in order to understand it, it is enough to answer the question “why?” about every event in your life.
Remember one thing: everything that happened had to happen. If something is not destined for you, then no matter how hard you try, circumstances will still arise that impede your plans. Begin to evaluate your current position as a state of expectation, a sense of change that is bound to happen. It is in your power to choose with what attitude to approach them: tormented by missed opportunities that would not have been realized anyway, or do everything to ensure that new prospects appear. It is very important to understand that much in life happens independently of you, but you should try to do your best at every stage of your life.
How to correct the consequences of your mistake if everything is out of control? If its results have become so large-scale that they cannot be dealt with? For example, he had a fight with his grandmother - and she died due to a heart attack. He lied - and this lie crippled the life of a friend. I retold the gossip to the boss - and the colleague was fired from his job. The driver hit a man. Will God forgive if there is nothing to fix? How to find a balance between self-flagellation and self-justification? Archpriest Vyacheslav Ponevin, Rector of St. Nicholas Church of Yenakiyevo, pondered these difficult questions.
Repentance is not only a listing of one's sins before a priest. This is repentance for the deed, the desire to improve, change, and in addition - compensation for the damage caused. Of course, it is impossible to return the situation to the state in which it was before the mistake was made. Often a person has no control over the consequences of certain actions. However, you can still try and, if possible, correct, if not the consequences, then yourself.
Do no harm
I must say right away: compensation for damage is not as simple as it seems at first glance. It is necessary to undertake it in the event that it will not cause harm to the one to whom we are going to compensate, and to us too. After all, you can correct your mistakes in such a way that others will not be happy. Example: a boy and a girl had a relationship, the girl gave birth to a child, the guy ran away. However, despite everything, the girl successfully married, she is doing well. But the ascetic of piety, which the guy has become, suddenly decides to repent, compensate for the damage, and begins to search, call, write letters. As a result, because of good intentions, a family can collapse. Not always our good intentions are actually good and lead to good things.
The repentance of a person occurs with the participation of a priest. I think that compensation for damage should also be discussed with the spiritual mentor - so that it does not bring harm to anyone.
What to do if guilty?
What to do if there is no way to make amends or ask for forgiveness from the person you offended? The main thing is not to fall into despair. Yes, compensation for damage is necessary, but the situation does not always allow this. If you can - reimburse, no - look for other ways. There are different options.
First: to help those who are currently in a similar situation and need help. I have come across situations when people beat someone in their youth, and there is no way to apologize to the victim: either time has passed and he has died, or it is impossible to get in touch with him. I recommended to go to the hospital and donate bandages, medicines for those who suffered from beatings.
Second: pray. If we offended someone, and this person has already died, you can always pray for him: at home, in the church, at a memorial service.
Third: charity. You can make some kind of donation, help financially - now there are hundreds of opportunities for this.
Who needs it?
Making amends is necessary for our soul to be changed by doing good deeds. Still, for God it is not a formal confession, not a formal correction of mistakes, but a change in the soul that is more important. To repent means to become a different person: more kind, merciful, honest. This is the main goal. To repair the damage, but to remain the same as it was, is wrong.
People brought many formalities into the Church. Everyone baptizes children, bury the dead, blesses cars and houses, but in fact a very small percentage of people can be considered Christians. The bulk, and this is about 90%, simply observe rituals. “We were told so”, “it’s necessary”, “well, it’s supposed to be so”, - but for what it is needed, what is the point - no idea. They do not know the Symbol of Faith and Our Father, but they bless the water, Easter cakes, order memorial services. In fact, they did not become part of the Christian community, and Christianity without the Church is impossible.
Formalities are to be avoided. Whenever doing anything, you need to imagine the end goal. If we repent, then we need to understand that the goal is to change our inner self. Getting rid of the passion that torments. If a person is irritable, he can offend people, then ask for forgiveness, then offend again, and this will last indefinitely, there are no changes in him. What's the point of his apology? Can his repentance be considered sincere?
If a believer repents, then the result should be his inner change for the better, the replacement of passions and sins with good deeds. Do you feel bad, overcome by selfishness, irritation, pride? At these moments, it’s good to go and do some small good deed: pray for a person, say a kind word to him, treat him.
Guilt as a way to punish yourself
Often people who have made some irreparable mistakes suffer extremely from feelings of guilt. It becomes their way of punishing themselves. They think that this feeling is right, because they are supposed to be oppressed after what happened. This, of course, is not true. Yes, we must have a sober awareness of our bad deed. Nowhere to go: I did it. But this does not mean that you need to execute yourself for the rest of your life.
What should be done? - fulfill the three points already mentioned: repent, make a promise to yourself not to repeat what has been done, and repair the damage. If not possible, do good deeds. "Turn away from evil and do good"(Ps. 34:15), says the Psalter. So let's replace evil with good. It is not enough just to refuse to do evil. If we begin to do good deeds instead of evil, then the Lord will heal us through them. In doing good, we come into contact with God, since He is love, and we are cured of our spiritual illnesses.
Between self-flagellation and self-justification
Self-flagellation is a demonic state. It doesn't benefit anyone. On the contrary, both the people around us and ourselves suffer from it, because we drive ourselves into despair, despondency. These states are partly a manifestation of pride. We must overcome it. Yes, I have committed a sin, acted badly. But I can change.
Despair is disappointment, disbelief in the all-forgiving mercy of God. God does not punish anyone. Crucified on the Cross, He says: "I love you so much that I am ready to die for you." Looking at the crucified Christ, we see neither punishment nor condemnation - only love. When people begin to self-flagellate, it is as if they say to Him: “We do not believe in Your love and forgiveness.” This is a sign of pride.
Self-justification is also an unequivocal evil, since in this case a person lies to himself, to God, to people. Everything is clear here. Many of their evil deeds are justified by some good goals. Make a small sacrifice for something. But good does not need evil. The Lord came into the world and died without doing a single bad deed. He did not violate anyone's freedom, did not inflict mental or physical harm on anyone. He could have done everything differently, easier, but he did it the way he did, and in this he is an example to all of us. No matter how good intentions we may justify evil, it will always remain itself.
Self-justification is the opposite of self-flagellation, but it is also a sin that must be fought. They are like plus and minus, but the essence is the same: these are wrong, false feelings.
How can a person understand that he justifies himself? In spiritual work, an outside perspective is always needed. Without this, it is difficult to understand yourself. If a person has some serious mistakes, difficult situations in his life, it never hurts him to come to the temple and discuss the situation with an experienced spiritual mentor - in order to understand whether he justifies himself in relation to what happened. It is convenient for many to push everything into the corner of memory and live in peace.
About imaginary good
This work is the work of our whole life. Our confession and repentance must be its result. We come to the temple, confess before communion, simply listing some habitual sins. This is acceptable but not desirable. You need to constantly work on yourself. We think very little about our lives, analyze feelings, comprehend actions. Every mistake, every passion - what pushes us to them?
How often, when doing something, we think that we are doing well and with good intentions, but in fact we are doing harm! For example, in the family there is a person with addiction. He constantly gets into some bad situations, and his relatives pull him out of them. They pay off debts, redeem what is pledged in a pawnshop, defend themselves before their superiors at work. Thus, they pay for its degradation, help to slide down.
A person, perhaps, after the first incident would come to his senses. For example, he would sit in a cell for fifteen days, he would be fired from his job, and he would find the strength to say: I don’t want that. When he does stupid things, and everything is fixed for him, it is very convenient: do what you want, no consequences. So why fix it? He does not see the problem and continues to degrade.
Relatives need to figure out why they do this, what feelings push them to such behavior, why they think that if they don’t respond, they will go against God.
It often happens in family relationships that representatives of the older generation consider it normal to interfere in the life of a young family, destroying it. At the same time, such elders, as a rule, do not have a normal family (divorced or live as spouses nominally), but they believe that they have the right to teach life.
Why did I give these examples? To the fact that, first of all, you need to carefully analyze your life, try to understand why you act one way or another, what it leads to.
Remove the rotten from the pantry of the soul
Preparing for confession is a kind of inventory. We remove from the internal bins everything rotten and spoiled. We also evaluate our life: what did we do wrong, for what reason, and so on.
There are people who come to confession and get off with a formal enumeration of sins: "I have sinned in deed, word, thought." This list becomes memorized, does not change for years. Some confess what they have already repented of, what they have crossed, what has long been the yesterday of their spiritual life. Many say: “In your youth you did this and that,” but what have you done now, what do you want to repent of now? That is, people go around in circles, do not change, their spiritual life at this time stands still.
Joy is like a litmus test
The Lord forgives us all sins - subject to our change. Let them not want to forgive you, let them reject the attempt to make amends - do not lose heart, this does not mean that you will not be saved. We are well aware of examples of people who made mistakes that were impossible to correct. For example, the holy King David, who committed the sin of adultery and murder: he took possession of the wife of a man whom he deliberately sent to death. Or the holy prince Vladimir, who was a pagan, had many concubines, killed. In their case, it was impossible to fully compensate for the damage, but these people are canonized as saints. They repented and did good deeds, tried to change, were transformed. As we repent, we must also change. The fruit of repentance is a change for the better.
To understand if we are going in the right direction, we need some kind of markers. If, bringing repentance, we do not change, do not become kinder, then we are doing something wrong. We need to look for the error. One of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is joy. It must appear in our lives if we draw near to God. To become happier is normal, because people are called to this by God. If this is not the case, if we continue to lose heart, despair, feel guilty, then there are problems with our repentance.
We need to believe that the Lord forgives us, to be filled with light, love. In life, fullness, meaning, joy should appear. These are signs that a person is moving in the right direction. The apostle tells us: “Always rejoice. Pray without ceasing"(1 Thessalonians 5:16-17). This is what you should strive for. Yes, despondency and despair can attack, and a penitential feeling can sometimes be difficult, but there is no need to fall into despair.
Often people face problems in their spiritual life because they misperceive God. You need to see in Him a loving Father, and not a punishing being who is just waiting for you to make a mistake in order to immediately punish for it. Fear keeps us from opening up to God. We say we love Him, but in reality we are afraid. You need to understand that the Lord does not punish - we ourselves punish ourselves with our bad deeds. God shows us only love.
Recorded by Ekaterina Shcherbakova
Every normal and wise person would like to make themselves a little happier and more successful. But not everyone understands and realizes that some mistakes in some cases help a person become better, understand what they are doing wrong and start correcting it, becoming even better, then you need to think whether it is worth correcting mistakes in life or, first gain valuable experience and knowledge from them. But some mistakes really need to be corrected and get rid of them, but not everyone understands how to do this. Therefore, today we will analyze with you the most effective and reliable methods to correct your mistakes in life , as well as extract precious experience and knowledge from this.
First what do you need to correct your mistakes in life is to determine what kind of errors you have. After all, you can simply take and write out all your mistakes that you yourself will find in your life on a piece of paper, which will help you much easier to correct mistakes in life, since you understand and know what needs to be corrected. Take a break from your affairs and think about what is going wrong in your life, and write down absolutely all the mistakes that you find on a piece of paper, this will help you simplify the task twice, correct mistakes in life. Also, in order to correct mistakes in life, you need to create a sufficiently strong and reliable motivation. Just create in your thoughts the picture of life that you want to see in real life, and you will understand and realize that you will need to do everything necessary to achieve this dream. Also, always set new goals for yourself and fulfill them by training and improving yourself, which also helps to correct mistakes in life and become successful.
Failure
As you know, failure is the main reason for the appearance of various mistakes in life. Therefore, if you want to correct the mistakes in life and reduce them by a lot less, then you first need to know how to get rid of failure and take action. Create for yourself the consciousness of only a successful and happy person, and then you yourself will notice how failure will gradually leave your life, and only a happy and successful life will come to replace it, which you can start building today. Correcting mistakes in life will be much easier with a positive attitude than with a negative attitude. As you know, there are and always will be mistakes in your life when you strive to know and learn more in life. They even help to achieve your goals to some extent, but only weak people do not understand this and give up on the path to happiness and their dreams precisely because of the large number of mistakes and failures.
Conscious and subconscious
As is known and proven by many scientists and psychologists, it is our consciousness and subconsciousness that creates our reality. So why don't we start taking advantage of this incredible opportunity to not only correct your mistakes in life, but also to create for yourself that world in which you will be truly successful and happy people, achieving everything that you yourself want. But if you let your consciousness and subconsciousness float freely, and do not control them, then this can only affect you in a negative way. Then big failures, problems, difficulties and mistakes in life will begin to appear. You need to start training and controlling your consciousness and subconsciousness in such a way that your thoughts and dreams are only with a positive attitude, and then there will be much less problems and failures. And after some time of control, the consciousness and subconscious will already create your life correctly and correct mistakes in life, no matter how difficult they are, it will become much easier.
Start correcting mistakes
The most reliable and proven way to fix your mistakes in life, it's just to take and start correcting them. Indeed, without real action and practice, it will be impossible to do absolutely nothing, and your mistakes, as they were, will remain, replenished with even more. And the sooner you start correcting your mistakes, the better you can protect yourself from the big problems associated with these errors. Create a good habit in your life to fix all the mistakes and problems as soon as they appear, this will not only make you happy, but you will also save an incredible amount of time and effort.
Success
As noted long ago, it was those people who achieved success who could quickly and easily correct mistakes in life, and move on along the path to happiness and success. To do this, you just need to know how to start succeeding, and do everything necessary for this, putting all your time and effort into only this work, which will bring you success. And correcting mistakes in life that exist all the time will not be so difficult when you are already a successful person.
That's all what we were going to sort out with you about how to correct mistakes in life. By applying all the methods and tips given in our article in practice, you will incredibly quickly learn and understand not only how to correct mistakes in life, but also be able to take action to achieve your goals and success in life, building life the way you want it. see in your mind.
Nurse Bronnie Ware from Australia cared for terminally ill patients for the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded the most common life mistakes patients reported and published them on the Inspiration and Chai blog.
1. Don't dare to live life the way you want to.
Many today build their lives based on the expectations of other people. In all areas, they prefer what their partners or society approves of.
As a result, such people meet the expectations of everyone - parents, teachers, acquaintances - but they themselves feel constant pressure. Most of the time they feel cornered and miserable.
How to avoid mistakes
Stay true to yourself. If you have the courage to live the way you want to, you are sure to face criticism and disagreement. Listen calmly to the advice and opinions of others, but if they do not coincide with yours, do not pay much attention to them.
Just as others have the right to express their opinion, you have the right to ignore it. You don't live to please anyone. So do not be afraid to ruin relationships with dissenting people.
2. Too much work
It is accepted in modern society. People are busier now than ever before in history. Yes, the situation of workers in factories at the beginning of the 20th century was much worse, but then they had no choice, but we do.
Parents rarely see their children and shift the care of them onto the shoulders of grandparents or nannies. People do not have time for relationships and other personal matters, a career is always a priority, it rises above everything else.
Yes, work provides a livelihood, but for some people it becomes the main parameter of self-identification.
How to avoid mistakes
Determine your priorities. If you don't have time for a relationship, it means you don't have it in the first place. If you skip the gym, it means that your physical condition is not so important to you, even if you claim the opposite.
Each person has 24 hours in a day, no more, no less. So much time a day for successful entrepreneurs like, financial magnates like Warren Buffett, famous athletes like Serena Williams, or TV celebrities like Oprah Winfrey. It’s just that someone spends every day productively, while someone complains that they don’t have time to do anything.
Think about what you want to spend your time on and make an informed choice. What do you value most in life? Are you spending your time according to your priorities? If you answered no to the last question, your desires and actions do not match. Fix it.
3. Not being able to express your feelings
Have you ever tried to forget a person and your feelings for him just because you were afraid to open up? If yes, then you are not alone. There are indeed many people in the world who are alone, not because they are unattractive. No, they are educated, beautiful, interesting in communication, but closed to feelings. They systematically miss opportunities to meet new people and expand their social circle.
For the sake of comfort and peace of mind, they refuse any attempt to start a relationship, finding millions of reasons why this person is “not the one”, “not for me”, and so on.
How to avoid mistakes
It's better to regret something you've done than something you've missed. Or maybe you don't have to regret it at all. Open up.
First, you will immediately feel better. Secondly, you will find out whether your feelings are mutual or not. Even if you get a rejection, it will be easier to put up with it and forever than to suffer all your life with the question: “What if? ..”
After all, ask yourself, what is the worst thing that can happen when you confess your feelings? You will be refused (most likely in a polite manner), and you will simply understand that this is not the right person.
And if your feelings are mutual, you will get an unforgettable experience, a bonus to which will be pride in your own courage.
4. Lose contact with your friends
We think that friendship is something eternal. That she will remain in any case, even if we do not pay enough attention to her. Therefore, we easily sacrifice friendly meetings for the sake of work, cancel gatherings because of romantic dates and other important matters. And then we regret the lost friends.
How to avoid mistakes
Instead of waiting for friends to ask you to meet, take the first step. Perhaps they are also waiting for you to call or write to them, inviting them to spend time together.
If your efforts aren't successful, it's possible that people just have different priorities. In this case, you will not regret moving away from them, because you did everything to prevent this from happening.
5. Don't allow yourself to be a happy person.
Are you deeply unhappy? Do you always complain about the troubles in life? Do you talk about the things you don't have and the opportunities you missed instead of enjoying what you have?
Too many people feel unhappy because of their ideas of where they should be and what they should have to be happy. However, many of these sufferers live in comfortable conditions, have stable jobs, a decent income, a healthy social environment and an excellent family.
However, the feeling of happiness does not depend on material well-being. It depends on the person's opinion of what it is to be happy.
How to avoid mistakes
Realize that happiness is everyone's choice. Many people believe that it depends on some factors. They think that they will be happy if they achieve this, the other, the third, if their needs are satisfied.
But happiness does not depend on achievements and does not come with them or after them. Happiness is something you can experience right now if you allow yourself to do so.
There is no path to happiness. Happiness is the way.
What do you regret? Share in the comments.
As one well-known philosopher said, only those who dare to do a lot inevitably make mistakes in many ways. It is impossible to live life without mistakes and situations for which one would not be ashamed even after several decades. But instead of “digging” deep into yourself, figuring out how to correct the mistakes of the past, it might be worth thinking about what lesson did you learn from past mistakes? After all, everything that is given to us is for something, and not contrary to it.
Correcting the mistakes of the past: 2 nuances
Correcting the mistakes of past years is often simply impossible. For example, your mistake is related to a person who has not been around for a long time. In this case, it is physically impossible to change anything. Then it is important to radically change your attitude to the problem: learn to perceive mistakes, accept them as part of the solution to the problem.
Don't back yourself into a corner
Being engaged in “self-digging” and looking for the reasons why you did it this way, why you didn’t do it differently, you risk coming to complex chronic diseases and disorders of the nervous system, in particular. Therefore, you should not test your body for strength. Maniacal correction of the mistakes of the past can seriously affect your present.
Searching for the guilty in the past will not give you anything.
The second point is the analysis of what happened: do not look for the guilty and do not condemn them for some actions. After all, no one can say with accuracy what he would have done in the place of the guilty. The easiest way is to condemn and put a stigma - "guilty" than to understand the situation entirely.
Correcting the mistakes of past years is your attempt to make the situation:
- did you good;
- never repeated again.
These are the basic principles according to which both psychologists and many wise men advise to perceive information with a negative frame.
Seven Steps to Forgiveness: How to Forgive Yourself for Past Mistakes?
It is important not so much to fix as. Moreover, the second point is much more important than the first. You need to be able to perceive all your mistakes and draw the necessary conclusions from them. Here are seven detailed steps that will help you properly analyze and draw conclusions from the current situation:
1. Accept your mistake for granted
The hardest step. Here you need to step over your own character, look at the situation from the outside, where often your position is not in a winning position. Without offense and, as they say, “with a cold head” you need to accept the situation, realize it. This period rarely lasts one or two days. It often takes weeks or months for this perception to take place. But only after that you can move on to other steps for correcting errors.
2. Admit the truth
After you have said to yourself: who is to blame, what is to blame, and why is to blame, a series of relief and humility will follow. You understand that no matter how much time passes, but without recognizing the truth, you will only complicate the situation. Whatever this truth is, it exists, and it is important to realize it. Only in this way can you do at least something today to correct the mistakes of past years.
3. Forgive yourself for past mistakes
Often, in order to justify yourself, your actions, you can blame others: you didn’t help, didn’t prompt, kept silent. Stop! No need to blame - just accept and forgive. And himself, and the one who is to blame, and who participated (indirectly or directly).
4. Repent
Forgiveness and repentance are one and the same for many. But, these are completely different things. To repent means to accept the situation and make sure that it does not happen again. You cannot promise for others, but you will not lie to yourself: you will do everything possible to prevent similar situations in the future. You won't fix what happened in the past, but you may not make those mistakes in the future.
5. Stay grateful
Never a failure always a lesson. And how correctly you have learned that very lesson, the result of what you have done will be so correct and effective. Often a mistake in the past is not a mistake at all, but the next step towards a new period in life. Be able to mentally thank for such lessons.
6. Try to forget
After you have learned a lesson, even if it is cruel, you will forever extract everything useful from it, and leave the bad behind. Stop thinking and blaming yourself for past mistakes. Only conscious benefits and good memories will help relieve tension and continue a full life without regard to past mistakes.
7. Don't compare
Whatever lesson you learn, it is your personal experience. You should not learn from the experience of others or, moreover, advise and give your own situation as an example. Everyone is different, and what may seem useful to you may turn out to be traumatic and cruel for another.
To correct the mistakes of past years or learn from them is the individual need of each of us. You just need to understand that everything that is done is really for the best. Everyone understands this after a while. And the mistakes of the past are therefore in the past to stay there. Don't obsess and don't bring them into the present.