I want him but he doesn't call. The man does not call

Because he does not dare, being by nature a modest person and a little unsure of his abilities. You must have heard this phrase more than once from girlfriends who patiently listen to your complaints and try to cheer you up a little. Or maybe you yourself often repeated these cherished words in order to calm your worried girlfriend.

However, this can be heard from the men themselves, but very rarely. Because not every one of them is able to admit his indecision. Be understanding. After all, what is today, why didn't he call yesterday or last week? After all, he nevertheless gathered his strength and got in touch now, which means that you are not indifferent to him.

A loved one does not call when he is very busy. There is a certain amount of sense in this. After all, a man can really be too involved in his studies, work, solving family troubles. Perhaps the problem is elementary - the world needed his urgent help. However, something more serious could have arisen - the Almighty decided to urgently consult with a mortal regarding the upcoming global flood, and so the bones lay down that the choice fell on your faithful one. (By the way, it must have been that Noah, at one time, also devoted insufficient time to his woman, and she, selfish, tormented him and herself with distrust. Meanwhile, he, showing heroic concern for preserving life on the planet, erected the legendary ark).

Jokes, jokes, but there can really be a lot of cases. Do not forget that men have a much greater burden in life. After all, it is enough just to get married successfully in order to live - not to know grief. While her future husband needs to achieve everything on his own: work, decent pay, official position, apartment, car and other benefits. Well, he didn’t call you today, he won’t call you tomorrow, you shouldn’t inflate a fly to the size of an elephant. Do you really prefer a business-minded young purposeful person to a loafer who has absolutely nothing to do with himself, except perhaps with endless telephone chatter ?!

It happens that the guy does not call, because, in principle, he does not like telephone conversations. Well, it seems to be true. Men (most of them) really absolutely do not understand what you can talk on the phone for more than 10 minutes, so they avoid this kind of communication in every possible way. This is quite understandable and you should not demand such sacrifices from your young man. Although, this excuse does not explain why he, at least from time to time, does not give you his remote attention for at least the same 10 minutes.

Your boyfriend may not call because you don't have phone etiquette. Recall what happened during your last phone conversations. It is likely that you were rattling off incessantly, so that he did not have the opportunity to insert even a tiny remark into your monologue. When talking with a guy not only on the phone, but also face to face, it is worth controlling the flow of information that comes out of your mouth. Keep in mind that he does not want to hear everything that you are trying to tell. Some topics may simply be uninteresting for him, some are inappropriate, maybe he is generally limited in time, but you do not let up. It turns out that he simply does not know how to silence you more tactfully (due to good breeding or modesty), and he can only wait for you to talk too much. The fact is that in such a situation a man feels some discomfort, and it is quite natural for him to want to avoid this in the future.

Another option is possible: the man does not call because he does not want to. This is not worth fighting. It's just that he is not for you, and you are not for him, everything is quite prosaic. Moreover, the sooner you understand everything and stop making endless guesses and inventing countless excuses for one guy, the sooner you will find another. Someone who will definitely call, despite modesty, employment or dislike for telephone conversations. Will call only because you are waiting for his calls.

You recently met. Went on a date. Even last weekend we had a nice conversation, and suddenly the man disappeared ... Day, second, third ... You are in a panic! You don't know what to think! Stop, so as not to worsen the situation, learn a few simple rules on how to maintain and improve relationships.

If a man does not call, this does not mean anything. Therefore, do not panic. To learn some simple and effective rules.

1. Try to calm down. Hysteria can instantly destroy the good impression that you left about yourself after the first meeting.

2. Maybe you scared him with something. For example, Unlike us, a man needs time to understand whether he needs a new relationship or not. Otherwise, roughly speaking, by your actions, you put a yoke on a man and pull him into a stall. And for any man, first of all, freedom is important.

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3. Do not come up with the most terrible pictures of what could happen to him and why he does not call. While he is calmly drinking beer with friends, you are already dialing his number, deciding that he had an accident, he was electrocuted or run over by a car, and he, poor thing, cannot reach the phone. Believe me, if a man wants to call, he will call in any condition.

4. Read the rules... of fishing. “When the fish is hooked, abrupt actions are contraindicated! Otherwise, it will break and swim away ... Keep calm so that the fish sits firmly on the hook. It sounds strange, but a man is the same fish. So never rush things. Don't push him.

They say women are from Venus and men are from Mars. This phrase personifies that invisible barrier between our sexes, the barrier of misunderstanding, through which it is sometimes not so easy to break through. We do not understand the reasons for their actions, and they do not understand ours. It is difficult for women to understand what it means when a man does not call or write, and how to behave in such a situation.

Reasons for silence

There may be several reasons and it is not always easy to identify the one that applies specifically to your man. If a man does not call after the first date, if the one with whom he has not been in a relationship for the first year does not call, if he does not call for a couple of days, a week, a month - all this must be taken into account, because depending on the reason, the options for how it should do a woman.

After the first date
The evening went wonderfully, you are elated and happy returning home, but neither that day nor the next he did not call back or write. This may indicate that the man just took a little time out. He was afraid of his feelings and wants to understand himself. Psychologists say that for the opposite sex, the process of falling in love is not as fast as for women, they need a little more time before they are ready to "jump into the pool with their heads."
Important! In this case, the pool is a woman. Of course, we are not talking about a few weeks, but 2-4 days.
Too much tenderness
Another scenario after the first date is that the woman simply scared her boyfriend away with an excess of feelings. Again, men are not used to expressing everything that has arisen in their soul at the first meeting. And it did not arise, but rather began to emerge.
Advice! If a girl chirps about love, talks about marriage, grandchildren and joint old age, after a meeting she showers him with text messages with declarations of love, then it is no wonder that the young man will take to his heels.
Not everything is so smooth
Women often imitate you know what, but men have learned to portray interest and delight. If everything went great on the last date, it was fun and the time flew by unnoticed, this does not mean that everything was the same for him. Perhaps he was simply bored and uninterested in listening to your monologues about equestrian sports or the next series.
Important! Think about how often he took part in the dialogue? Maybe you were the only one having fun?
After a fight
If a scandal broke out between you the day before, it would be quite reasonable to assume that this is why the man does not call or write. In such situations, they tend to take the position of the victim, to translate the arrows, so to speak.
Interesting to know! Not every member of the stronger sex is able to withstand the attacks of an angry companion, especially if the reason for the quarrel is insignificant.

Very often, after scandals, men “go to the bottom” and wait until all the passions in the girl’s soul subside.
Important! They do not like loud showdowns, and if you are not able to do it calmly, be prepared that one day he will disappear for good, and not for a few days.
Not a fan of calls
Yes, and there are. Despite the fact that it is the 21st century, there are still some men who do not like to call or write messages. They prefer live communication and will not touch their gadget without special need. In a relationship with such a gentleman, you should not measure the depth of his feelings by the number of missed calls or received messages. Just learn to take it easy.
Busy
Yes, in most cases this is a banal excuse, but if your chosen one is a careerist or works in a serious company, and even in a responsible position, then you should not be surprised that there is no news from him. It may well happen that some unexpected difficulties appeared at work, or a lucrative contract, or something like that, and your man just plunged into work, losing interest in all other areas of his life for a while.
Finances sing romances
It's no secret that modern girls' requests are often a little cooler than taking a walk in the park and listening to Yesenin's poems performed by a loved one. We want a cafe, a movie, a bowling alley or something else, and all this requires money. Every self-respecting man takes the payment of entertainment events on himself.
Interesting to know! If you have been together not so long ago, then the guy is simply afraid to admit that at the moment he has problems with money and he simply has nothing to take you for a walk.
Typical Casanova
Alas, this also happens. If this is your case, then you can only sympathize and advise to be more careful. He charmed you, got everything he wanted and drove off into the sunset. You will not hear from him again - such men do not go on a second date and do not call back after a stormy night.
Important! If he told tales about what a successful businessman he is, took you for a ride on a yacht or a cool car (most likely rented), then it simply does not make sense for him to continue to support an expensive legend. As soon as the goal is reached, it disappears.
Married
If your young man turned out to be married or he already has a girlfriend with whom he is in a long-term relationship, then you should not be surprised that he does not call after meeting. Serious relationships dull the instinct of a hunter in men, and if, nevertheless, he succumbed to a fleeting weakness and flirted with an unfamiliar girl at a corporate party, then it is not a fact that in the morning or a week later, he will decide to continue this acquaintance.
No reciprocal feelings
It makes sense to consider this option only if we are talking about the beginning of an acquaintance. The first date, after which the man did not call back, most likely made him understand that the woman was not suitable for him. This does not mean that you are ugly, stupid or boring. Perhaps he just realized that he does not fit you, decided that you have too high requirements for a life partner, or your interests and hobbies do not match.

Some more interesting information can be found in the video.

Doesn't call but always answers

It also happens that the guy does not show initiative, but always picks up the phone if the woman calls herself or answers messages with enthusiasm. The reasons for this behavior are no less than ignorance.

How many young girls and mature beauties are languishing in anticipation of a call from a gentleman sunk into the soul - do not count. And how many excuses they come up with - and even more so. If a man does not call, then most likely he does not want it himself. Girls become discouraged, they have complexes and self-doubt on the basis of silent refusals.

The male view of this problem cuts off most of the reasons that young ladies can come up with. According to the survey:

1% do not call because they have lost their phone;
2% due to incorrectly recorded number;
7% due to fear of rejection;
11% because of a quarrel or resentment;
79% due to lack of interest.

However, despite the sad statistics, men named several other reasons for the lack of calls. They think it's a waste of time. They do not betray such importance to constant communication and gentle SMS, as the weak half of humanity. There is no reason for them to pick up the phone if there is nothing specific to say.

Interesting to know! It takes a little longer for a man to get bored. The girl is ready to dial the number of her beloved immediately after separation, he also needs to have time to get bored.

The second reason that men voice most often is the lack of money. Yes, perhaps for romantic women this is not a problem at all, she will turn a blind eye to the lack of gifts and agree to have a hot dog snack instead of a salmon steak, but for men this is a serious reason to “lay low”.

Important! As soon as his financial situation levels off, he will definitely call and remind himself of himself, if during this time a new beauty does not appear in his environment, eclipsing the previous one, of course.

Often men doubt their abilities, they are not sure that they can evoke sympathy in return from such a beauty, therefore they remain passive. They do not know that women need to be pursued and that even the most unsightly man can make a woman's heart flutter if he chooses the right strategy.

The psychology of men and women is very different, therefore it is important to learn to look at the situation through “male eyes” and not be afraid to ask direct questions.

Below in the video you can see the male view of this problem.

Test "How does your beloved treat you?"

How to act a woman

The main thing is not to fall into despair and keep yourself in control. If a man abruptly stopped calling or disappeared for a whole month, then in any case, this is not a reason to announce the Apocalypse.

First of all, you need to calm down - at the peak of emotions it is difficult to sensibly assess the situation.
If you understand that the reason for this behavior was your harsh statement about him, then why not correct the situation and apologize?
Call first. First you need to come up with some kind of innocent, but convincing excuse. If a man intends to break off a relationship, he is unlikely to talk about it directly, but his tone will speak for itself. Listen to the voice - is it happy to hear you or is it cold and annoyed?
If a man does not call or write for a month or more, then it is hardly worth hoping that he will show up. In such a situation, it is worth letting go and forgetting, distracting yourself with a new hobby, immersing yourself in work - doing everything so that there is no time left for sad thoughts.
Do not impose - if your chosen one has lost interest in you and stopped paying attention, you should not bombard him with SMS, calls and leave a bunch of voice messages on the answering machine. Such behavior will only repel restrained men even more, but there will be no positive result.

Psychologists and relationship counselors advise focusing on yourself. If a man disappeared or decided to part with you - do not get depressed, do it in order to become better and more interesting so that the next gentleman falls at your feet.

Develop. Find a new hobby, take up horseback riding, try making polymer clay toys, take cooking classes, draw, sing, anything that interests you.
Change image. Many women note that a change in style has a positive effect on their lives. A new image attracts attention and opens up opportunities for new acquaintances. A bright, well-groomed and beautiful woman will not go unnoticed.
Update your wardrobe. This will not only help you become more attractive and fresh, but will also cheer you up. What woman doesn't love shopping?
You can buy a new dress, bright shoes, or change your style completely by filling the hangers with new things - it's all in your hands.
Take care of your appearance. Perhaps the man stopped calling because in a long-term relationship you stopped looking after yourself. Often women forget that men love with their eyes. You must remain beautiful, regardless of whether you date for a month or three years.
Vivid emotions. Finally decide on a trip to Egypt, a parachute jump, go on a rally, do what you always wanted, but were afraid of - vivid emotions will help you survive the breakup and drive bad thoughts out of your head.
Avoid seclusion. For a day or two, you can afford to cry under the "Bridget Jones Diaries" in an embrace with a bucket of strawberry ice cream, but no more. This will negatively affect the figure, in the end. Get off the couch, grab your girlfriends and go on an adventure!

Psychology according to the signs of the zodiac

According to astrologers, the reasons that a man does not call or write can be found in the stars.

Aries prefer live communication to virtual ones, but men in love of this sign are ready to devote day and night to understanding their beloved, because if Aries stops calling you, it means that he has lost interest. It is as easy to dislike him as it is to please him. They are fickle and windy, and besides - terribly touchy. If Aries is offended, he will not call first, even if he is wrong.
Taurus. Men of this sign are greedy for attention, but will continue to communicate with a lady only if she is really interesting to them. It won't work. Taurus are slow and think about serious steps for a long time, and they like to do it alone.
Twins. This sign is hypersocial, he will be happy to call and correspond even with someone with whom he does not intend to build a serious relationship. If the Gemini disappeared and does not get in touch, it is only because someone appeared in his environment who interested him more.
Cancer. These men are extremely touchy, they find meaning where there is none. If your chosen one is Cancer, it is better to immediately find out the reason for ignoring, because over time everything will only get worse, and he will be offended by the fact that you do not care about him.
A lion. These men are not accustomed to courting, they believe that others should seek his favor. He will not write SMS and call first, and his pride is easy to offend. It is not worth delaying reconciliation, he will quickly find a replacement and will not blink an eye.
Virgo. Men of this sign express their feelings with pleasure and are the first to make contact, but not everyone can understand their inner world. One fine day, this man may decide that the initiative comes solely from him, then he will close in on himself and plunge into his resentment.
Read more about the nature and characteristics of such a man in ours.
Scales. He needs constant support and communication, he easily writes romantic messages and can spend hours on the phone with his beloved. If he suddenly disappeared, then the reason for this was another woman, to whom all his efforts and emotions are now directed. If he does not call after a quarrel, then it is better to take the first step - just say that you are sorry about the conflict.
Scorpion. The passion and emotionality of this sign will not be expressed by phone, but if he suddenly completely stopped communicating, then most likely this is due to a strong offense. You should not immediately call him and demand a meeting, give him time to cool down, otherwise everything will end badly.
Sagittarius. These men are sociable, and are happy to do it both live and on the phone. They are quick-tempered, but quickly depart. If Sagittarius does not call after a quarrel, just invite him to the park - a sincere conversation will settle everything.
Capricorn. This sign uses cellular communication only for business conversations, he is not one of those who will chat for hours and write frank messages. If he doesn't call, then he's busy. Things come first for him. If the reason is a quarrel, then it will not be easy to make peace. Capricorn not only demands complete surrender, but will also expect you to take action to correct the error.
Aquarius will be happy to correspond, discussing everything in the world or call ten times a day. However, he is very easy to offend, be careful and choose your words carefully if you are talking about sensitive topics. Even if the quarrel was his fault, it’s better to call and apologize yourself.
Fish. This man will not write poetry or sing a lullaby over the phone, they prefer action to words. If you had a fight, sad messages and tearful calls only pushed him away, he does not believe the words, you will have to prove your feelings with deeds.

You can learn more about the character traits and behavior with a partner of different signs of the Zodiac from the video below.

@Vadmary

How many times in your life have you been waiting with trepidation for a call from your loved one, but the phone was silent, as if bewitched? You always want to believe that this connection will not be interrupted and you will be together all your life. But suddenly it just disappears from view and you stop to understand what is happening. You think he just lost interest in you. But a quiet voice of hope whispers that he may have a serious reason for such silence. What should girls do if young people do not call, do not write - try to restore relationships or forget about a failed romance? This is what we have to find out.

Main reasons

The reasons for this behavior of the beloved are different. Maybe he would be happy to call, but circumstances do not allow this. Or he simply doesn’t want to communicate with you anymore, which is why he stopped making phone calls and writing SMS. To understand how to proceed, you need to find out two things:

The real reason for your young man's silence.
Do you need him and are you going to fight for your feelings?

If you answer yes to the last point, then you need to urgently understand the reason for his sudden disappearance from your life. We will talk about why they do not call or write to their girls.

Trouble

This is a rather comforting version that will keep the girl's pride. Anything can happen: he could get sick, go on an urgent business trip, go to the funeral of his great-aunt, finally. Not all men are concerned about warning girls about their sudden disappearance, especially if they are not too much in love. Maybe they don’t even think that you are worried and waiting for a call. But if a man loves, then he will find a couple of minutes to call his girlfriend and warn that he will not get in touch for several days.

Lost your phone number

This happens, especially at the very beginning of a relationship. If you do not have a common circle of acquaintances in which you can restore each other's contacts, then this reason is real. He could accidentally erase the address book in his mobile, lose or break the phone. But if he is seriously interested in you, he will find a way to contact you.

Amorist

It is possible that he met with you in order to add to the list of his sexual victories. You were fun and interesting with each other, he could "show" his feelings and show sincere interest. But all this was done in order to persuade you to intimacy.

It doesn’t matter that you have met many times: the rule of “eight dates”, after which a girl can agree to have sex, has not yet been canceled. What if those eight dates ended and you never crossed the line? Then he could decide that he had nothing to “catch” with you, and went in search of another “victim”. You can only sincerely thank him for the fact that he stopped calling and writing.

He was possessed not by passion, but by politeness

Sometimes it happens that, fearing to offend a girl, a young man continues to meet with her, although they do not have a strong interest. You could spend your free time together, relax with friends and go to the movies, but it might mean nothing to him. So, they treat girls in a purely friendly way and do not feel responsible for their feelings.

Offended

Although, to be honest, the word "offended" should not determine the internal state of a man. Here it would be more correct to say “angry”, because this is how they react to important events in their lives. The fault may be your behavior, his jealousy, or someone's negative words about you. So he “punishes” you with his silence. What can you say? If his feelings are strong, then he will call to dot the i's.

I just lost interest in you

This is the most common cause of sudden silence in young people. At first, he was interested in you and he was going to build a serious relationship, but then something went wrong. You failed to "hook" him, he could get bored with the relationship. Men are decisive people, they can easily change their minds about dating without serious reasons. The lack of desire to see you every day is the main reason for this separation.

Another

It is likely that you have a rival to whom he is ready to devote all his free time. And while you look at your mobile phone with dreary expectation, he enjoys the company of a completely different girl, completely forgetting about you and your feelings. Not the most pleasant reason, but you shouldn’t exclude it either: if married men tend to go “to the left”, then young people sometimes do not consider themselves obliged to be faithful. Especially if they do not love the girl with all their heart and soul.

There could be many more reasons. But all of them are divided into two categories: when there is hope for the restoration of relations and when it is not. You can spend hours wondering what happened, or you can ask him directly about it. True, you will have to call him first, and this does not always work in favor of the girl. What to do if he suddenly disappeared from your life: sit back and continue to wait for the call or start acting to clarify the situation?

Your actions

If a young man does not get in touch with you for only a couple of days, then just wait. During such a short time, his feelings will not pass and he will not have time to find another for himself (although, one cannot be one hundred percent sure of this). It’s worth worrying when he hasn’t called for a week, although he couldn’t live a day before without communicating with you. Now you need to find out the reason why he suddenly became silent, but this can be difficult to do. How a girl can act in this situation, we have to find out further.

Ask him

This method looks simple only from the outside. Not all men welcome women who themselves take the initiative in relationships. You are lucky if the reason for his silence is in some force majeure circumstances, then he will make your decision to call or write to him first. But if he stopped loving you, found another girlfriend, or considered you unworthy of his society, then the call will turn into a real torture.

On one side of the scale - a sense of embarrassment and shame, on the other - the opportunity to sort things out to the end. And if waiting for news from him is already unbearable, then it is better to discard false shame and call him first.

Find out from mutual friends

If friends see him in full health, then the cause of an accident or serious illness is swept aside automatically.

Social media

You can try to track his appearances on social networks. Sometimes the status under a photo can say more about his attitude towards you than a thousand words. “In a free search”, “Looking for a new love” is one thing, but “Busy, working”, “I will be back in town soon” is quite another.

Do not send him angry messages and hurtful words.

If the reason that he does not call is valid, then it will be more difficult to build a trusting relationship; if he really fell out of love with you or something like that, then your nervous messages will also not do you credit. He will simply conclude that he made the right decision by parting with you, and pangs of conscience are unlikely to visit him.

Write a message

A good way to make contact is to send him a short message: "You haven't called for a long time, I'm worried about you."

You can regard these words as you like: from the manifestation of strong feelings to simple friendly participation. But he will be touched by your attention and will answer your SMS.

Be cool

“Just call me, I’ll arrange this for you for silence!” - probably spinning in your head ... Perhaps nothing terrible has happened in your relationship, and there is absolutely no need to show aggression.

Do not forget that men are arranged a little differently than we women. Sometimes they do not call or write for several days for no reason. For them, it may be completely normal if, after being absent for several days in the city, they do not notify their beloved about this. According to their logic, if he went on a business trip and behaves decently, without cheating, then there is no point in talking about his departure. Why is everything okay? And only we, poor women, do not find a place for ourselves from experiences, thinking in advance of the reasons for the impending separation.

Find the strength in yourself to be calm at the moment when the man nevertheless gets in touch. You should not start a conversation with screams and accusations, it is better to listen to the reason for his prolonged silence. If his explanations satisfied you, then convey to him a simple thought: for a woman, the unknown is the lack of reinforcement of intentions. No matter how much a man is sure of your feelings, he must understand that anxiety for a relationship is in a woman’s blood. This means that what you suffered during his absence from your life should not happen again.

All goes to good

If he decides to break up with you, then let him go. You know, fate is a very tricky thing, it accurately distributes the roles of different people in our lives. And the fact that this particular young man left you is perhaps just a gift of fate. This will help you find your happiness and true love.

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