A person lives in society, and from childhood he has to compare himself with others and evaluate others. Self-affirmation is behavior aimed at asserting one's own significance, establishing the right to self-expression and achieving the desired social status. It is a need that stimulates a particular type of behavior.
Self-affirmation motives are determined by the desire to improve material well-being, career, and gain authority. In addition, it is a tool for knowing oneself, interacting with others.
This question has been studied in psychology from the very beginning of its existence as a science. Initially, self-affirmation was considered only with negative side. But later, psychologists became interested in what specifically determines the mechanisms of self-affirmation, what behavioral strategies are characteristic of a self-affirming personality.
Self-affirmation strategies
The theory of self-assertion is a vast area for the study of human behavior, in which there are three main strategies:
Self-affirmation at the expense of others
Has a negative character. A person who asserts himself in this way needs constant confirmation of his own importance, superiority over others. This manifests itself through destructive methods: insults, accusations, provocation. conflict situations in order to prove their correctness.
The reason for this behavior with a superficial judgment is seen in an overestimated self-esteem. This is indicated by sharp criticism of the opponent, speech turns demonstrating authoritarianism and significance. But he does not need to present himself in a favorable light. And self-affirmation of this nature is characteristic of people who are not self-confident, not realized in the public or private sphere of life, in need of reinforcement of their significance. The goal “I am no worse or better than others” is recognized as the leading one in the behavior of a self-affirming person.
The appearance is due to various reasons. For example, some suffer from a lack of education. Self-esteem falls, and a person, for the purpose of psychological self-defense, openly expresses disregard for education: “I earn more even without a diploma.” Usually such parents spare no effort and time to give their children the very education about which they speak so dismissively. In fact, this is nothing more than an attempt to satisfy their own ambitions at the expense of children.
Makes a person vulnerable, deprived of attention. And the inability to see the depth of the problem leads to the most simple solution- to humiliate another in order to exalt oneself.
Developing your self while maintaining interest in others
Constructive type of self-affirmation. A person strives for self-disclosure through the development of his own personality. Such self-affirmation is a natural process for a person striving to realize himself in society. Constructive self-affirmation is important for the individual, as it is a motivating factor for self-realization. Self-realization is one of the main tasks of personality development. This means that a person is doing what he loves, he has taken place in the profession, in the family. Found love, revealed creative abilities.
The concept of self-realization is sometimes confused with the concept of social success, although these are not the same thing. In the public mind, the understanding of success is due to material security, popularity, and power. Self-realization is the disclosure of natural data, one's destiny.
Self-disclosure of personality is not always successful in all areas of activity. Each age has its own characteristics. For example, there are cases when physically weak teenagers achieved high results in sports. For this age, the need for self-affirmation is especially characteristic. And as his best side is hard work on himself. Adults assert themselves in the profession. In this case, a person reveals his abilities without denying other personalities, the essence of his self-affirmation is the ascent to higher levels of development. Finding yourself in a new quality, a new role at each specific time (age) stage.
With a constructive type of self-affirmation, a person himself determines how to establish himself in society, gain confidence in the value of his self. Women are characterized by self-affirmation in the role of mother, wife, mistress of the house. Male solvency is determined by success in social and professional activities.
A successful person can do a lot for others, while his success may not bring him a sense of satisfaction with himself. A self-actualized person is happy man. These two concepts are by no means mutually exclusive. Some manage to combine both social success and their own fulfillment.
Self denial
At first glance, self-denial is a concept opposite to self-affirmation. After all, this is a kind of renunciation of oneself, alienation from one's own individuality. A person considers himself weak, and in order to overcome this, he mentally joins someone else, stronger, and ultimately transfers his qualities to himself.
In this situation, he lives not his own, but someone else's life, identifies himself with his idol. As a result, he develops those personality traits that are characteristic of the hero he has chosen. As a result, behavioral strategies also change. This is how the fans act famous people, celebrity fans who are ready to change both their appearance and character, having lost their individuality. Self-denial is typical for teenagers who seek to imitate some famous actor, athlete, musician.
According to psychologists, each person, asserting himself, has in his arsenal options for behavioral strategies. They are studied in order to classify personality types in the process of self-affirmation, to determine the reasons for choosing a particular strategy, to understand the mechanisms of self-affirmation. If a person adheres to only one strategy of self-affirmation, then she feels some psychological problems, which can be difficult to sort out. But for the most part, their essence comes down to the inability to communicate, build relationships with people.
Observing the behavior of people, psychologists note the ability to refuse as one of the mechanisms of self-affirmation. People of different behavioral strategies say “no” in different ways. A person of the first type of behavior says “no” categorically, not allowing the free will of another person. The personality of the constructive type of self-affirmation substantiates his refusal, gives arguments, explains why this is the case and not otherwise. A person prone to self-denial cannot say no. He experiences psychological problems because he is often forced to do what he does not want.
Why do we assert ourselves?
The desire to establish oneself in a strong position is inherent in man by nature itself. More K.I. Chukovsky, in the book "From Two to Five", expressed the opinion that it is important for a child to constantly be in the spotlight, he tirelessly waits for approval and praise, and proudly emphasizes his achievements. This is due to the lowered position of the child in relation to the adult, his dependence on the elders. And self-affirmation in these conditions can be expressed in the form of aggression as an expression of protest or negativistic demonstrativeness, when the child deliberately ignores the demands of adults.
A small person has not yet received sufficient life experience, but he is no longer satisfied with a secondary, dependent position. And the desire to assert oneself can be considered here as self-knowledge of the individual, the desire to strengthen one's position, to gain independence.
Self-affirmation, in its best sense, is necessary for a person. The origins of this phenomenon are in natural selection as the main factor in natural development, when the strongest survive. To affirm oneself means to declare oneself: "I am, I exist."
Self-affirmation is a complex socio-psychological complex. A person in the process of self-realization concerns the interests, emotions and views of others. There is an interplay of personalities. In the process of communication, there is a need for recognition, awareness of one's own value. Encourage self-affirmation ambition, vanity, ambition. It is natural for a person to desire to secure a certain social status. As a dual nature, a person is guided in his behavior by both positive and negative actions.
In addition to the great cultural achievements created by writers, philosophers, musicians, scientists, history has preserved many examples of terrible crimes. They did it as a result of self-affirmation. The motive of these atrocities is nothing but the desire to stand out, to attract attention, to assert oneself.
Healthy self-affirmation is aimed at revealing the potentials inherent in the human personality that require disclosure. And how this process will take place depends on the choice of the person himself.
March 28, 2014Quite often there are cases when a person humiliates, insults other people in an attempt to assert himself, belittling others, he feels more significant. Such behavior looks disgusting, but is it really that the need for self-affirmation is always bad, maybe such a desire is quite natural?
Motives for self-affirmation
In fact, the need for self-affirmation is one of the most important needs that stimulate human behavior. It manifests itself in the desire of a person to gain recognition at various levels - professional, social and personal. Thus, the motive for self-affirmation may be the desire to improve one's financial situation, gain authority, and make a successful career.
Also self-affirmation is essential tool self-knowledge. Since by asserting ourselves, we interact with the people around us, and this allows us to realize our position in society, to understand our value, and through reflection we get to know ourselves from the inside - we learn more about our desires and capabilities.
And of course, we must not forget about the problem of self-affirmation of the individual in the team, this process is necessary to occupy its own niche in it, because every person at work (during training) has a certain status. Everyone chooses the methods of such self-affirmation for himself - at the expense of humiliating others, thanks to his professional skills or personal charm. That is, the very desire to strengthen and determine one's position in society is quite natural and cannot be condemned, but here are the ways to achieve this goal as best they can - no one likes self-satisfied brawlers, especially if such is the immediate boss.
Self-affirmation at the expense of others
What is easier: to develop yourself and get the approval and recognition of colleagues and friends, or especially not to bother about this and just humiliate other people, stating that they do not understand anything in life, and only you know how to do it right? Obviously, the second method is easier, you do not need to make any special efforts, the main thing is to believe in your own rightness. Men often resort to this method of self-affirmation, perhaps because of their constant desire to fight and win.
But you should not think that such people are bad by nature, because most often the reason for the development of such behavior is a lack of support and love in childhood, long-standing resentment, a sense of fear of people, psychological abuse provided by loved ones, educators and teachers. Such people often behave aggressively, look 
very self-confident, but this is just a mask, under which a frightened person is hiding, who really lacks warmth and care. People who try to assert themselves in this way are notorious, they feel their inferiority and are afraid to enter into open confrontation with other people, all they have the courage to do is rise above a person, humiliating him. The trouble is that those who are unable to defend themselves from bullying fall into the field of view of such people; they usually do not dare to attack strong personalities.
Self-affirmation is often seen as a defense mechanism that should protect a person from traumatic situations. If a person lacks some component of self-esteem, then there is an inflated sense of their own superiority. A person tries to assert himself in order to balance his shortcomings. Therefore, such people need help and a friendly attitude, because their inability to assert themselves without belittling other people makes them unhappy, does not allow them to reach their full potential.
How to assert oneself, prove oneself, raise one's status and self-esteem? (10+)
Self-affirmation at the expense of others - the path to loneliness
Many people believe that self-assertion and self-realization is possible only at the expense of other people, due to their oppression, infringement of their interests. Indeed, your personal space can be somewhat expanded if you crush others. But it's so easy to make enemies. By asserting yourself at the expense of other people, you deprive yourself of their support and help. You can put pressure on them, but you cannot count on their interested help and support. People live and work in a team. No matter how cool a person is, without the support of others, he can do very little.
Imagine such a person in the forest alone. All he can, even if he is very experienced and strong, is to kill and eat a bear. A person who constantly manifests himself at the expense of others will be lonely in the city. He may be full, but he will never be rich, since contacts bring wealth.
Aerobatics - self-realization in the interests of others
Aerobatics is self-affirmation, self-realization, raising the status and authority in the interests of other people. At first, this approach seemed like an empty theory to me. But I still began to try and realized its effectiveness.
This is how I assert myself. I announce big goals that seem to many unattainable by the given deadline. But I don't talk. Before publicly committing myself, I calculate everything, make sure that the project is real. When the goal is reached, I accept congratulations. My goals do not contradict the goals of other people, do not interfere with them. Often they are even useful to others, so that everyone rejoices with me.
As a result, I earned credibility with friends and colleagues. They invite me to projects in which I don’t do anything special (I only get money), simply because everyone knows that I will follow the progress of the project and at a critical moment (when everyone loses their hands, motivation disappears) I will do that little, but a very important piece, for which no one will have the strength.
Well, no one dares to put a spoke in my wheels, knowing that I usually achieve my goals. Nobody wants to chew on a rock.
Practical techniques for increasing authority and status
If I convinced you of the productivity of this approach, start small. It makes no sense to take on a big and complex business right away. Out of habit, you still fail it. Do something small and achievable with a promise to someone to do it. Gradually, you will get used to fulfilling your obligations, believe in yourself, and get additional motivation. Then projects can become larger and more responsible.
After a while, when your friends and colleagues get used to your responsibility for your words. Your friendship and your participation in various affairs will be sought.
Remember, let your "Yes" be "Yes", "No" be "No", and anything beyond that is from the Evil One. Weak people lie, dodge, refuse their words. Strong people set big goals and achieve them. Nobody likes to resist strong people, everyone wants them to be on their side. This is the secret of self-affirmation, self-realization, authority and status.
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Its 2 main problems: 1) chronic dissatisfaction of needs, 2) the inability to direct his anger outward, restraining him, and with it restraining all warm feelings, every year makes him more and more desperate: no matter what he does, it does not get better, on the contrary, only worse. The reason is that he does a lot, but not that. If nothing is done, then, over time, either the person will “burn out at work”, loading himself more and more - until he is completely exhausted; or his own Self will be emptied and impoverished, unbearable self-hatred will appear, a refusal to take care of oneself, in the long term - even self-hygiene. A person becomes like a house from which the bailiffs took out the furniture. Against the background of hopelessness, despair and exhaustion , energy even for thinking. Complete loss of the ability to love. He wants to live, but begins to die: sleep is disturbed, metabolism is disturbed ... It is difficult to understand what he lacks precisely because we are not talking about the deprivation of possession of someone or something.
On the contrary, he has the possession of deprivation, and he is not able to understand what he is deprived of. Lost is his own I. It is unbearably painful and empty for him: and he cannot even put it into words. This is neurotic depression.. Everything can be prevented, not brought to such a result.If you recognize yourself in the description and want to change something, you urgently need to learn two things: 1. Learn the following text by heart and repeat it all the time until you can use the results of these new beliefs:
- I am entitled to needs. I am, and I am me.
- I have the right to need and satisfy needs.
- I have the right to ask for satisfaction, the right to get what I need.
- I have the right to crave love and love others.
- I have the right to a decent organization of life.
- I have the right to express dissatisfaction.
- I have a right to regret and sympathy.
- ... by birthright.
- I may get rejected. I can be alone.
- I'll take care of myself anyway.
I want to draw the attention of my readers to the fact that the task of "learning the text" is not an end in itself. Auto-training by itself will not give any sustainable results. It is important to live each phrase, to feel it, to find its confirmation in life. It is important that a person wants to believe that the world can be arranged somehow differently, and not just the way he used to imagine it to himself. That it depends on him, on his ideas about the world and about himself in this world, how he will live this life. And these phrases are just an occasion for reflection, reflection and search for one's own, new "truths".
2. Learn to direct aggression to the one to whom it is actually addressed.
…then it will be possible to experience and express warm feelings to people. Realize that anger is not destructive and can be presented.
WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS NOT ENOUGH FOR A PERSON TO BECOME HAPPY?
FOR K EVERY “NEGATIVE EMOTION” IS A NEED OR DESIRE, THE SATISFACTION OF WHICH IS THE KEY TO CHANGE IN LIFE…
TO SEARCH THESE TREASURES I INVITE YOU TO MY CONSULTATION:
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Psychosomatic diseases (it will be more correct) are those disorders in our body, which are based on psychological causes. psychological causes are our reactions to traumatic (difficult) life events, our thoughts, feelings, emotions that do not find timely, correct expression for a particular person.
Mental defenses work, we forget about this event after a while, and sometimes instantly, but the body and the unconscious part of the psyche remember everything and send us signals in the form of disorders and diseases
Sometimes the call may be to respond to some events from the past, to bring “buried” feelings out, or the symptom simply symbolizes what we forbid ourselves.
YOU CAN SIGN UP FOR A CONSULTATION FROM THIS LINK:
The negative impact of stress on the human body, and especially distress, is enormous. Stress and the likelihood of developing diseases are closely related. Suffice it to say that stress can reduce immunity by about 70%. Obviously, such a decrease in immunity can result in anything. And it’s also good if it’s just colds, but what if it’s cancer or asthma, the treatment of which is already extremely difficult?