Have you found your true purpose in life? I'm not talking about your work now, not about daily duties, and not even about long-term tasks. I mean exactly real reason why you are here, and why you even exist.
Perhaps you have a rather nihilistic view of the world, and you do not believe that you have any purpose, and that life has any meaning at all. No matter. Disbelief in the fact that life has meaning will not prevent you from finding it, just as disbelief in the laws of gravity will not save you from falling. All that disbelief can do is delay the moment of discovery, so if you are one of those people, just replace the number 20 in the title of the article with 40 (or 60 if you are very stubborn). Although most likely if you do not believe that you still have a goal, then you probably do not believe in what I am talking about now. But even if that's the case, what's the risk in taking an hour to read, just in case?
Before this little exercise, I want to tell you a story about Bruce Lee. One day a martial artist asked Bruce to teach him everything Bruce knew about martial arts. Bruce held up two cups, both filled with liquid.
"The first cup," said Bruce, "represents all your martial arts knowledge." The second cup symbolizes everything I know about martial arts. If you want to fill your cup with my knowledge, you must first empty your cup of knowledge.
If you want to know your true purpose in life, you first need to clear your mind of the false goals you have been taught (including the idea that there may not be a purpose at all).
So how do you discover your purpose in life? There are many ways to do this, some of them quite complicated; but here's one of the simplest ones that anyone can do. The more you open up to the process and the more you expect it to work, the faster it will work for you. But even if you do not open up, or doubt, or think that this is a completely stupid and pointless waste of time, it will still not prevent it from working, unless you leave it before reaching the end. It will just take more time for the process to “converge”.
Do this:
1. Take a blank sheet of paper or open a text editor where you can type (I prefer the latter as it's faster).
2. Write at the top: "What is my true purpose in life?"
3. Write the answer (any answer) that comes to mind. Not necessarily a whole sentence, a short phrase will do.
4. Repeat step 3 until the answer you write makes you cry. This is your goal.
That's all. It doesn't matter if you are a lawyer, an engineer or a bodybuilder. For some people, this exercise will be perfectly logical. Others will find it extremely stupid. It usually takes 15-20 minutes to sort out the chaos in your head and clear it of social prejudices about what you think is your goal. Your mind and memories will suggest false answers. But when the correct answer finally appears, you will have the feeling that it came from a completely different source.
For those who have never thought about the meaning of life and are too rooted in their views, it will take significantly longer to filter out all the false answers, perhaps more than an hour. But if you persist, after 100, 200, or maybe even 500 answers, you will be overwhelmed by the answer, which will cause a storm of emotions in you; this answer will break you. If you've never done this, it's likely to sound silly to you. It may seem silly, but do it anyway.
During the exercise, some of your answers will be very similar to others. A number of answers can simply be repeated. In this case, you can try to look from a different angle and generate 10-20 responses to some new topic. And that's great. You can list any answers that pop into your head as long as you keep writing.
At some point (usually after about 50-100 responses) you may want to finish writing without noticing that the process "converges". You may feel the urge to get up and find an excuse to do something else. This is fine. Get over that resistance and just keep writing. The feeling of resistance will gradually pass.
You can also find a few answers that will give you a mini burst of emotion, but they won't make you cry - they're a little off the beaten path. Underline these answers as you go so you can come back to them later to create new combinations. Each of them reflects part of your goal, but individually they do not make up the whole picture. When you start to get these responses, it simply means that you are close to the target. Warmer! Go on.
It is important to do this exercise alone and without interruption. If you are a nihilist, you may well start with answers like “I have no purpose,” “Life is meaningless,” and the like. If you keep going, the process will eventually converge.
When I did this exercise, it took me about 25 minutes, and I found my final answer at step 106. Partial pieces of the answer (mini bursts) appeared at steps 17, 39 and 53, and then most of them fell into place and finally took shape in steps 100-106. I felt resistance (I wanted to get up and do something else, it seemed that nothing would work, I felt impatience and even annoyance) at about steps 55-60. At step 80, I took a two-minute pause to close my eyes, relax, clear my mind, and focus on the fact that the answer must come to me. This helped as the answers I started writing after the pause became much clearer.
Here is my final answer: live consciously and boldly, resonate with love and compassion, awaken the strength and character of others, and leave this world peaceful.
When you find your own unique answer to the question "Why am I here?", you will feel how deeply it will resonate with you. It seems that these words have some special energy, and you will feel this energy every time you read them.
Finding your purpose is just the easy part. The hard part is to keep it to yourself every day and work on yourself until you yourself become that goal.
If you are going to ask why little exercise so effective, then just postpone this question until you have successfully completed the process. After going through it to the end, you will most likely get your own answer to the question of why it works. It is likely that if you ask 10 different people who have gone through this exercise, you will get 10 different answers. All of them will be filtered through individual beliefs, and each will have its own reflection of the truth.
Obviously, this process will not work if you complete it before it "converges". I estimate that 80-90% of people should achieve "convergence" in less than an hour. If you are extremely hardened in your beliefs and resist the process, then you may need 5 sessions and 3 hours, but I suspect that such people will simply give up quickly (after 15 minutes) or not try at all. But if you are drawn to read this article, then I doubt that you fall into this category of people.
Try it! At a minimum, you will understand one of two things: your real purpose in life - or that you need to unsubscribe from this magazine.
renowned philosophers, famous writers, famous psychologists and many other great minds have been trying to answer it for many centuries, and each of them, as a rule, comes to his own conclusion. Thus, we can first conclude that the meaning of life is an individual category, great for everyone living on Earth. You can't talk about the meaning of life in general, each of us has our own purpose, to which he should stubbornly and confidently strive.
The German poet Goethe once expressed the idea that he lives for so that the pyramid of his life, the foundation of which was laid before him, rises as high as possible". The French writer André Maurois believed that " the purpose of life is to give all your strength to the chosen cause". In his opinion, even a small thing can be perfectly mastered, and if you treat it as a great thing, you will always consider yourself a happy person.
The wording of the meaning of life can be different, it is important that its implementation really brings you happiness. To the conclusion that meaning of life is happiness, came again ancient Greek philosopher Plato, student of Socrates. This definition explains why unhappy people are so prone to anxiety, depression, and sometimes even suicide. They do not see why they should continue to live, why achieve and strive for something. This is another argument in favor of how important it is to make your life meaningful.
If you cannot find meaning in life on your own, then you need to resort to the help of existing information on the topic. First of all, one should pay attention to the theory of Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychologist, neurologist and humanist, the creator of a whole area of psychotherapy, "Logotherapy", focused on finding the meaning of one's existence.
In Man's Search for Meaning, Frankl writes that no one from the outside can give the meaning of life to a person, he must find it himself. At the same time, he suggests directions in which one should seek one's destiny. The first of these is creativity, work or meaningful work, the second is love, the third is suffering.
In other words, even a suffering person always has something to live for and really be happy. For example, a disabled person who has lost his legs can find himself in completely devoting himself to working at home at the computer and, with due efforts, achieving very high results, since, unlike “healthy” people, he will not be distracted from the main goal by other, outsiders. affairs.
Frankl points out the meaning of life is a changeable category. Depending on certain living conditions, circumstances, time, events, it may change. Therefore, if you have lost sight of the goal and do not know what it is worth living on, in no case do not despair and do not give up. The psychologist notes that in extreme situations, especially suspicious individuals are recommended to put before themselves any first hit target to get out of the state of stupor and start living and moving forward again.
In his theory, Frankl dwells separately on people who are addicted to alcohol and drugs, who do not see not only the meaning of life, but in general real life. Therefore, before they start searching for the purpose of their existence, they must first of all forever abandon chemical substances. Only then will they get a chance to find a suitable business for themselves and realize themselves to the maximum in it.
Religious people have their own interpretation of the meaning of life. For example, in the Orthodox sense, it is presented as service to God. Sincere believers are not afraid of death, on the contrary, they rejoice in it, because Jesus Christ, crucified on the cross, accepted it courageously, for which he received God's blessing. Life is a gift, so before leaving for the next world, we must thank God for allowing us to fully enjoy this gift.
And if you didn’t manage to enjoy it, then you lived your life meaninglessly. In this regard, at any stage of life, it is important to remember that our path has not only a beginning, but also an end. Sooner or later, the moment will come when, on the threshold of eternity, it will be necessary to take stock. What will you leave behind when you leave? Everything done in your life is important, because a person is remembered long after his death. That is why they say that the soul lives forever, and only in your power while there is time to make sure that in the future you will be remembered with good and bright words.
Canadian writer Stephen Leacock once said: We realize too late that the meaning of life lies in life itself, in the rhythm of every day and hour.". These words turned out to be so profound that the prominent 20th-century psychologist Dale Carnegie did not hesitate to include them twice in his book on coping with anxiety. Anxiety and the lack of meaning in life are often inseparable concepts, but as soon as a person has the second, the first is immediately eliminated.
But for those individuals who are not concerned with the problem of anxiety, everything can be much simpler. They live by the rule of Tolstoy, who once remarked that " the meaning of life is to live". Everything is simple. Live and you will be happy. But remember that real life is never without problems.
And if your life suddenly became ideal, most likely you have already died (spiritually) or live in an unreal world. You are in an illusion that has nothing to do with actual reality. And the sooner you get out, the better.
Every now and then, I get a question in my email. What to do if life has lost its meaning?
Sometimes it sounds direct, sometimes - a little more veiled - "How to find the meaning of life?"
For many years of holding resource theaters, it became obvious to me that if life has lost its meaning, then you need to look for a lack of love, dislike, rejection of yourself. And the more meaningless life seems to a person, the greater the “lack” of love turns out to be.
Moreover, if a person has to search for the meaning of life, but he is not found, and this search goes on constantly (sometimes going into the background, sometimes rising to the surface), then it is likely that this lack of love is congenital, generic, from birth, or even from conception. And this does not mean at all that the parents are to blame, because they did not like. This lack may lie much deeper.
In this article, I will not analyze the reasons why this shortage may occur. Because I really want to convey the main idea! If life seems meaningless, if you need to look for the meaning and fullness of life and you feel the meaninglessness of your life or life in general, if the question arises in your head (at least periodically): “What do I live for?”, “What do people live for?” , all this suggests that you do not have enough love. In other words, about the depression hidden in the depths of the soul. It doesn't matter if you don't like or don't like you. Because the most important thing is to make up for this lack, and not to look for an answer to a question that has no answer. Or more precisely, the answer to which is a matter of personal choice, and not of "how it really is."
As soon as you make up for this lack, as soon as life resounds with love, the world around will sparkle with colors. And the answer will be obvious. The meaning of life is in LIFE itself. In joy and pleasure, in love, in creativity… The list is endless. But no such list will give a person who lacks love absolutely nothing. Simply because the answer to the question “How to find the meaning of life” people are looking for in their heads. And the answer actually lies at the level of sensations, at the level of feelings, at the level of the body .. At the level of the depth and quality of living, feeling life. At the level of that (to simplify it completely) - how much buzz, joy, pleasure from life you allow yourself to get.
Get your love back.
Bring love back into your life and it will make sense again. I'm not talking about a partner. And it's not about falling in love with someone! Because falling in love in a state of lack of love very quickly turns into an addiction. I'm talking about unconditional love. About the love of life.
Love in this case is almost a synonym for Life. Of course, and of course, this is about m+f too. But in order for m + f to develop qualitatively, it is important that unconditional love lives in the person himself.
Love, which gives meaning to life, which gives fullness to life, which gives stability in life - this is primarily about unconditional love that goes through the family. From great-grandparents to grandparents, from them to our parents, from parents to us, from us to our children, and so on. This is a generic flow of love and life, the lack of which is quite difficult to “calculate” simply because we are sometimes born with it and simply do not know what happens differently.
The love that fills life with meaning is about the world around you and the unconditional love of the world for you, and yours for this world. It's about love in the broadest sense.
We are made of love.
Whether we like it or not, whether we realize it or not, we humans are made of love, we live and feed on love. We may not notice it. But the symptom of absence and lack will be the meaninglessness of life. Or an endless search for meaning. Moreover, the search usually takes place in "Somewhere Tamiya", that is, outside of this, the real world. In the beyond, in esotericism, in other worlds or parallel realities, in the deep past or the future beyond...
But in fact, this is just a way to escape from the pain, the pain of the soul. Because the lack of love is always pain, in one form or another.
So, there is no point in looking for the MEANING of life. You just need to let love in. And with that comes meaning. But not as a brain category, but as a feeling, as a sensation. And it is desirable to let love into yourself literally at the CELLULAR level. Or vice versa - release. Remembering the real self, remembering yourself as the source of life and love. Awaken the love in you. Wake up.
After all, the GOOD UNIVERSE, which unconditionally loves each of us and fulfills our desires, is not somewhere out there, in a parallel reality. She is the world around you. And the love that returns meaning to life is also not somewhere out there. She's here! In our bodies, in the walls of houses, in the surrounding people ... And it doesn’t matter - from the inside out or vice versa. It is important to revive unconditional love.
Disliked? Let go!
One more moment. If we formulate the lack of love in the form of “I was not loved”, then this problem cannot be solved. It is impossible to return to the past and demand love from the "debtors". And most importantly, if you "should", or you "should", then the quality of your life depends not on yourself, but on other people. And this is already dependence - instead of love.
Therefore, we formulate on our own - I did not accept (did not accept), did not take (did not take), did not get (a) ... etc. Or - I do not like, I am offended (a), I am angry, etc.
And then the issue is decided by acceptance.
Here are three steps in the process of finding meaning in life.
1. Realize what negative emotion (feeling) makes your life meaningless. You don't even have to name. It is enough to move from the level of “brains” and reasoning about the meaning of life to the level of feelings and sensations and operate further with feelings.
2. Take responsibility honestly. Not “I was offended”, but I was “offended”. Or even - decided (a) to be offended (then you can).
3. Open love, let yourself be loved, let yourself be loved. And gradually expand this flow - in principle and throughout life. There are already many articles on the site (blog) about how to work on this topic. And you can find them by
With love, Yunia
P.s. Anticipating questions, I will say that the next training in St. Petersburg will be in May! So — if you can't cope with opening the flow of love on your own, come to this training! Although ... to be honest - this training should be mandatory for everyone. And - more than once ... Each of us has too many dislikes. And it is with the help of Resource theaters that one can identify and remove the lack of unconditional love from the depths of the subconscious. And sometimes what a person would do on their own for years (or never at all) can be done in one or two resource theaters.
And here, in there is a schedule of all planned trainings.
13 comments on the article “How to find the meaning of life?”
Irina.
Everything is correct here. What if it feels like it's too late? That feelings are killed, can't you feel? And faith in yourself is gone, the so-called landmark is completely lost?
Junia.
Irina, then everything is the same. It will only be a little more difficult. Because it needs to be restored. After all, they are not killed, just decided not to feel. This usually happens when the pain is unbearable. And when you come alive, you will probably have to live through this pain a little at first and let it go. In difficult cases, it is better to do this with a specialist. And not even on Skype.
But the main thing in this business is not to believe the feeling that everything is over, that it is already too late. It's never too late. And feelings can be revived. At first - in spite of and even possibly - through an effort ... And when you start to come to life - it will be easier!
And then - not the fact that the way out of this will be long and difficult! Not a fact!))))) I myself came into this activity 15 years ago, among other things, because I was looking for a remedy for depression. And she pulled herself out by technicians in about a month. And before that, no one could help for half a year - neither psychologists helped, nor trainings. And only through ridicule, through absurdity, through stopping feeling sorry for yourself - a way out was found!
By the way, I highly recommend working with a doll for a start! It will already load. I described in the blog - in detail!
Elena.
Dear Yunia!
I got sick here for a month and a half with the loss of work.
She even stopped sleeping. And suddenly, against the background of all this, I took out a synthesizer and began to study the notes, began to sing and for the first time in many years I felt happy. I’m 41, I’m ashamed of my studies in front of my daughter, I have to look for a job, but it’s like my strength has run out when I pick up a synthesizer, as if reality is changing.
Junia.
Elena, she is changing! Sing if it wakes you up, if it gives you strength - be sure to sing! And don't be shy! The stream of life that breaks through and opens up when you sing, having opened up qualitatively, is quite capable of “carrying” you both to money and to new job and much more! At school, we were not taught the most important thing - to hear ourselves and give way to our true. Creativity. Love. life.
And if it made it to 41 - YOU ARE LUCKY! Very lucky. After all, you can never hear the voice of your nature at all ...
And from a technical point of view - sing about how you find a new, wonderful job, about how your desires are realized, and instead of a serious aunt, become a child who is interested in the world. And this "inner child" will find a good job for you much faster than your "inner adult, depressed smart aunt" ... :-)))
Tata.
Dear Yunia!
Thank you for the article.
As always, hitting the very point.
Years of "digging" karma and "removing" karmic structures; rebirthing and breathing techniques (and more, and more); search for answers to the question about the meaning of life and finding, as it were, answers; again breakdowns in depression; and a return to "why am I alive at all (?), if everything goes in one vicious circle - search - short luck - loss and fall - depression." I am many years old.
Good luck and success of loved ones and relatives is a pleasant fact, but you see yourself far from this, sort of like from the outside.
And it all happened because of the lack of love (true, for life itself) ???
Alas, I agree completely. It’s not easy to do it alone, but you have to do something - I’ll try recommendations for correction.
Thank you very much, dear Yuni!!!
Junia.
Tata! Thank you very much for your response!
Yes, that's right - the lack of love for life. Moreover, as a rule (!!!) - the reception of self-love from the world is blocked. This is not 100% information, because statistics are not enough in this regard. But, nevertheless, I am inclined to believe that the violation is at the entrance. (Incoming flow, not outgoing). Another thing is that all this is still two sides of the same process called Unconditional Love. Therefore, in whatever direction we develop, all the same, the entire energy exchange will expand. (I hope I can explain clearly).
Nataliya.
Yunia, thank you!
I often read your notes, and this one hit the spot again!!
So I want to reach you!!! There are so many interesting things around!!!
It has been more than two years since I “discovered” you for myself, all this time it is interesting and very informative with you! Thank you!!!
Farhad.
Thank God! Accidentally came across your site. Although there are no accidents .. I saw a lot, yes, I saw myself from the outside, as with my own eyes, and an understanding came, but not the fact that there would be such a quick recovery)) I thank you for your love invested in the article! I live in Vladivostok, unfortunately far from you, with great pleasure, I would attend your trainings. It remains only to visit you, and feed, learn new things, first of all about yourself.
Thank you! Kind regards Farhad 🙂
Pasha.
I want this t-shirt!!
And if for me such a feeling is loneliness, and not resentment? I'm alone, right?
Junia.
Pasha, this is a feeling, a feeling. For example, I also have it. It's not strong now, but it used to be strong. It began to leave when the insight came - if I am one with the world and people - where, in principle, can the feeling of loneliness come from? Does that mean it's artificial? And for what?
My feelings and observations suggest that this is for manipulation - with oneself or others ...
Moreover, when I realized that this is a feeling, and not an objective reality, I found that it appears to me just and mainly in relation to other people. Well, that is - you can tell a person “I love you”))) But in the case of my loneliness, it turns out “I'm lonely from you” - in the sense that you make me lonely ...))) But my feelings are my responsibility.
I think that this is not the only option for how we use the feeling of loneliness and for what ...
I have noticed this program in other people more than once. A variant like “You didn’t call me and I feel lonely” - I think a familiar reproach to many. I always have a question - why didn't you call me yourself if you needed it? However, I also noticed similar tendencies in myself - they didn’t call me when I decided that they should call me - that’s it, I was aaabid!!!))) The question is that this subconscious (in many ways) program interferes with life and myself to a person, and to those around him ... You can write an article about it)
Pasha.
Junia, look, today is Friday and I want to go for a walk with someone and go to a cafe. But I don't have anyone. Because no one needs me. And there is no one to be offended that they don’t call me either.
And I do not manipulate anyone, because no one cares about my condition.
Junia.
Pash, I wrote about the feeling of loneliness. About the state itself. The situation when there is no one to go somewhere, I think, happens to everyone. In any case, it happens to me. The question is how do we experience them. One side of the question is that if I feel good with myself, then I will go for a walk with myself))) And I will enjoy it. Or go where I can find good people if I really want to communicate.
But the unconscious (!) value of the state of loneliness often prevents us from doing this. Yes, of course, you did not choose it consciously, but nevertheless, the fact is that you chose it once and from time to time (every time you experience it), you choose to feel exactly that. But in fact - you can choose to feel something else! And go somewhere where there will be people and the opportunity to communicate. The next question is just how deep this state is rooted in you. Because it depends on whether you can choose and make your choice. Or the state of loneliness will be stronger.
But in general, I see no reason to philosophize further, although I have something to say)))
Let's try this instead:
Do it once! Remember that the world loves you)))
Do two: Sending a return smile to the world!)))
When I received a response
Do three: Ask where you can go to feel good and ask the world to give you options and opportunities)))
Do Four: Any known ways we support a wave of openness and readiness to accept new things in our lives)))
Do five: We look on the Internet for options - where to go for a lonely wizard guy))) In Moscow, there are probably a million options!
Do six and seven: choose and go!)))
But only with good mood, without expectations, just go ... And do not forget about the magic on the way!)))
Alfiya.
Yunia, thank you! Your article is straight to the point and about sore points! But this is true, it all starts with love! Thank you very much!
Ecology of life: The search for the "meaning of life" comes down to finding those few things that are more important than yourself. If it seems to a person that he has lost his landmark, he has no purpose in life, he does not know what is important to him - he is most likely ...
If it seems to a person that he has lost his bearings, he has no purpose in life, he does not know what is important to him - he, most likely, simply does not realize his values.
Not finding his own, he takes other people's values as a basis, lives by other people's priorities. And this is a direct road to wrong attitudes and the eternal feeling of “unhappiness”.
When my brother was 18 years old, he entered the living room and solemnly announced to the whole family that he would certainly become a senator. I don’t remember what I was doing at that moment (nothing but absorbed in eating cereal), but I’m pretty sure that my mother said something approvingly to him, like “Great idea, son!”.
For the next 15 years, this goal informed every decision my brother made, from the subjects he chose to study at school and the people he had relationships with, to where and how he lived, spent his holidays, and subsequently and holidays.
The fact that today he is the head of one of the largest political parties in the city, as well as the youngest judge in the state, is the result of hard work for almost half of his life. In the next few years, he will run for the Senate.
Important note. My brother is a rare eccentric. And usually, it doesn't work that way.
Most of us have no idea what we would like to do in life.Even after graduation. Even after getting a job. Even when we start making good money.
Between the ages of 18 and 25, I changed my career aspirations more than my underwear. At 28, already having my own business, I still did not understand what exactly I wanted from life.
The likelihood that you, like me, have no idea about what you want from life is quite high. The painful process of realizing this affects almost every adult. “What do I want from life?”, “What is most important to me?”, “What can I succeed in?”. These questions are sometimes asked to me in letters by people who are over 40, and even over 50.
In many ways, this problem is connected with the concept of "the meaning of life" - the idea that we come into this world with a certain mission, which not only needs to be fulfilled, but also to find out first.
There is no more logic in this idea than, for example, in the fact that your lucky number 34, but only on Tuesdays, and only when the moon is full.
Do you want the truth? We come into this world for an indefinite period. During this time, we are all doing something. Sometimes something important, sometimes not. And it is these important things that give our lives meaning and make us happy. Everything else is needed to "kill time".
So when people ask "What do I want out of life?" or "What is my life goal?”, it would be more correct to ask “What is important for me to do?” This question is much easier to answer, and it does not contain the pathos that the concept of "the meaning of life" invariably entails.
In letters, people often ask me what is the “meaning of life” for them. Trust me, I can't answer this question. Often, all I know about a person is that they enjoy knitting sweaters for kittens or making adult movies with perversions in the basement of their own house. Does anyone really assume that this is enough to draw conclusions about what is important for a person and what is not?
In any case, lying on the couch with a plate of chips, you are unlikely to find the answer to this question. To find out what exactly is important to you, you have to get up and stretch yourself.
In general, to help those who doubt in solving this problem, I compiled a list of questions based on my research in this area.
For those who have prepared for a long and exhausting series of diagnostic research, I want to immediately disappoint. They are more likely to amuse you.
I deliberately use this approach so that even such a serious process as the search for the "meaning of life" is exciting and enjoyable, without turning into a duty.
How to find the meaning of life
No. 1. How much tar is in your barrel of honey and what does it taste like?
Yes Yes. By the way, a matter of paramount importance. We are brought up as winners in life, our team spirit is developed, but this is often forgotten to be mentioned. But there is tar in every barrel, and how much more! And let someone accuse me of pessimism, and even say that you need to see the best in everything, but ... in my opinion, accepting it gives us a chance to be freer.
Any business initially involves some kind of sacrifice. Something like the price you have to pay for your choice. There is nothing that would bring only pleasure and inspire from morning to evening. So the question is basically the following - What sacrifices and struggles are you willing to make in order to achieve your goal? Ultimately, our ability to stay true decision determines precisely the ability to survive difficult periods and stay on top even in the most unpleasant situations.
- If you plan to become a top-notch technical consultant without ever failing, you probably won't get very far.
- Or do you want to be a professional artist, but at the same time you are not ready for the fact that your work may not be appreciated hundreds, or maybe thousands of times?
- Do you dream of a successful lawyer career, but are not ready for an irregular working day? The bad news. You lost before the game even started.
What effort are you capable of? Write code until late at night? Postpone the creation of a family commercials for ten years? Leave the stage to the whistling and hooting of the ruble over and over again until you achieve her favor and recognition?
So, what fly in the ointment are you ready to eat? Because we'll all get to it in our barrel one day.
No. 2. If you met yourself as an eight year old, what would he be most disappointed in you?
As a child, I often wrote stories. I spent hours in my room writing down fantasies about aliens, superheroes, great warriors, stories about friends and family. Not for anyone to read them. Not to impress parents or teachers. It just gave me real joy, that's all.
And then, for some unknown reason, I stopped writing. I really don't remember why.
We all tend to forget over time what we loved to do as a child. Maybe social pressure during adolescence, or considerations of professionalism during adulthood make us forget about our true "passion" for something ... We are taught that the only reason to do something is the reward that we will receive for it later .
Already in my early 20s, I discovered how much I love to write. It was only when I started my own business that I remembered how much I love developing websites (as a teenager, I was very fascinated by this).
That's what's important. If an eight-year-old me asked a twenty-year-old me "Why don't you write anymore?" his answers, but would also upset my little one to tears.
Number 3. What can make you forget peace and sleep, and at the same time, natural needs?
All of us at least once in our lives were so addicted to something that we lost count of minutes, hours, remembering the vital already with the thought “Damn, I forgot to have dinner!”
By the way, it is said that when Isaac Newton was at the peak of his scientific career, his mother had to regularly remind him of the need to eat, because he himself was too absorbed in the process of research.
That's how I was absorbed in video games in my time. True, this is rather an unfortunate fact. And for many years, this has been a problem. I played for hours on end, sometimes neglecting the elementary rules of hygiene, playing instead of studying before exams or leading a normal social life.
It was only when I got rid of the gambling addiction that I realized that my passion did not belong to games at all, although I also like them. Rather, it is a passion for continuous improvement. To make what works well turn out even better. The graphics, characters, and quests are all great, but you can live without them. What I'm bored without is constant competition - with others, and even better, with myself.
I have applied this approach to my internet business and professional writing, and the results have exceeded my expectations.
Perhaps you will find yourself in something else. Someone will want to get lost in the ephemeral world of fantasy, but someone likes to effectively organize things and events, someone will find his calling in teaching, someone in solving technical problems.
Anyway, the point is not what exactly takes away peace and sleep, but what kind of cognitive activity is behind it. You can apply the principles of this activity to anything.
No. 4. How would you better make yourself look stupid?
To become an expert in your field in a certain area, you must definitely go through the stage of incompetence and failure. It's natural. And in order to realize that you are far from perfect, you will also have to repeatedly find yourself in situations that clearly demonstrate this. Most people want to avoid this at all costs, which is understandable, because who wants to make a fool of themselves?
Holding on tightly to the feeling of your own success, you are unlikely to reach heights in anything important and difficult for you personally.
So let's get back to vulnerability.
Admit it, because there is something that you would like to do, or maybe even planned. But, of course, they never went beyond fantasy. Of course, you will find a lot of excuses for this fact, which you can tirelessly repeat to yourself ad infinitum. I’ll tell you frankly, if among these excuses there is something like “What will people think!”, Then you are postponing the opportunity to become happy on the back burner with your own hands.
Of course, there are people for whom time spent with children is more important than their own business, or a person's true passion lies in music, and not in the development of video games, and these are no longer excuses.
But if it all comes down to what your parents and friends will think of you, or the fear of making yourself look like an idiot, then most likely you are diligently avoiding the things that you really care about. It’s just that you are scared to death that this can happen, and not at all what your mother or neighbor Aunt Masha will think.
Living life without ever getting into trouble is like trying to do something with your head buried in the sand. Great deeds - by their nature, as a rule, are unique and often contradict the usual foundations. To make them, you need to go against the herd instinct. And to do so is usually really scary.
Give yourself permission to be at your best. This is part of the path to achieving something important and worthwhile.The more acceptance is vital important decision frightens you, the more likely it is that you are destined to do it.
No. 5. How exactly will you save the world?
If suddenly you are not interested in the news, I dare to tell you that the world has unresolved problems. I’ll decipher it for those who are not understanding - everything is bad, and we will all die.
I have raised this topic before, and research confirms that a happy and long life involves expanding the circle of values a little beyond one's own satisfaction and the search for pleasure.
So pick a problem and... go ahead, save the world! Stupid education system, economic crisis, domestic violence, lack of healthcare in the area mental disorders government corruption. Choose to your taste! Yes, there is a long way to go. This morning I read an article about prostitution in the USA. Believe me, she made me sincerely wish to somehow change the situation. And at the same time spoiled the appetite before breakfast.
Find a problem that does not leave you indifferent. And start solving it. It is clear that you cannot solve it alone. But do your part! Change something for the better. And the consciousness of this will make you happier, and life - filled with meaning.
You are thinking now. “Damn it, well, I was imbued with all this pessimistic rubbish, and even upset. How to go to action? How do you force yourself to get off the couch and do something useful?
I'm telling.
No. 6. If you were forced to spend the whole day away from home at gunpoint, where would you go and what would you do?
Most of us are slaves to our habits. Routine inspires us with a false sense of calmness and helps us distract from thoughts about the important. Comfortable on a soft sofa. And the chips are delicious. What more could you want?
Nothing, and it doesn't change anything. And that's the problem.
Most people don't understand that our passion for something is the result of actions, not the reason for them.
Only by trial and error, only by directly immersing yourself in this or that occupation, you can realize whether you really like it.
So imagine for a moment that at gunpoint you are forced to spend every day outside the house all day, except for the time allotted for sleep. What would you do and where would you go? Sitting in a coffee shop and surfing Facebook is not an option. This is what you are most likely doing right now. Other than mindless surfing the net, video games, watching TV and series, what would you do to pass the time?
Would you like to sign up for a dance? Or book club? Maybe get another education? Developed a new irrigation system to save hundreds of thousands of human lives in Africa? Have you learned how to fly a hang glider?
What are you spending all this time on?
If several options come to your mind at once, write them down, and then take this list and go to fulfill it.
By the way, a separate plus for those items that will make you feel uncomfortable.
No. 7. If you knew you were going to die in a year, what would you do to be remembered?
Most of us don't like to think about death. This is frustrating and scary. But in vain. Turns out, thinking about death brings a lot of benefits. For example, they force us to “zero the system”. Separate the wheat from the chaff. Discard unnecessary and unimportant.
In college, I often pestered everyone with the question: “So what would you do if you had only one year to live?” Of course, it was often at parties, so basically the answers were boring and sluggish. Although some of the surprise could choke on the contents of the glass (right in my face). But still, it made people look at life differently, and set priorities in a new way.
I don't want the inscription on the gravestone to read: “Here lies Gregory. He watched all episodes of Interns twice."
What legacy will you leave? What will your descendants be told about you when you go to another world? What will be written in your obituary? Is there anything worth mentioning at all?
What would you like to read in it? And finally, what could you do today to ensure that this is actually ever written in it?
If you imagined that in your obituary it was written that you were a good sidekick and a decent asshole, then you, perhaps, wandered in the wrong place again.
If it seems to a person that he has lost his landmark, he has no purpose in life, he does not know what is important to him - he is often not aware of his values. Not finding his own, he takes other people's values as a basis, lives by other people's priorities. And this is a direct road to wrong attitudes and the eternal feeling of “unhappiness”.
The search for "the meaning of life" comes down to finding those few things that are more important than yourself. And to find them you need to get yourself off the couch and act. Think outside the limits of habitual thoughts and self-interest. And, paradoxical as it may seem, to think about what will happen even if you yourself are gone.published . If you have any questions on this topic, ask them to specialists and readers of our project .
Have you found your true purpose in life? I'm not talking about your work now, not about daily duties, and not even about long-term tasks. I mean the real reason why you are here and why you even exist.
Perhaps you have a rather nihilistic view of the world, and you do not believe that you have any purpose, and that life has any meaning at all. No matter. Disbelief in the fact that life has meaning will not prevent you from finding it, just as disbelief in the laws of gravity will not save you from falling. All that disbelief can do is delay the moment of discovery, so if you are one of those people, just replace the number 20 in the title of the article with 40 (or 60 if you are very stubborn). Although most likely if you do not believe that you still have a goal, then you probably do not believe in what I am talking about now. But even if that's the case, what's the risk in taking an hour to read, just in case?
Before this little exercise, I want to tell you a story about Bruce Lee. One day a martial artist asked Bruce to teach him everything Bruce knew about martial arts. Bruce held up two cups, both filled with liquid.
The first cup, said Bruce, represents all your martial arts knowledge. The second cup symbolizes everything I know about martial arts. If you want to fill your cup with my knowledge, you must first empty your cup of knowledge.
If you want to know your true purpose in life, you first need to clear your mind of the false goals you have been taught (including the idea that there may not be a purpose at all).
So how do you discover your purpose in life? There are many ways to do this, some of them quite complicated; but here's one of the simplest ones that anyone can do. The more you open up to the process and the more you expect it to work, the faster it will work for you. But even if you do not open up, or doubt, or think that this is a completely stupid and pointless waste of time, it will still not prevent it from working, unless you leave it before reaching the end. It will just take more time for the process to “converge”.
Do this:
- Grab a blank sheet of paper or open a text editor that you can type in (I prefer the latter as it's faster).
- Write at the top: "What is my true purpose in life?"
- Write the answer (any answer) that comes to mind. Not necessarily a whole sentence, a short phrase will do.
- Repeat step 3 until the answer you write makes you cry. This is your goal.
That's all. It doesn't matter if you are a lawyer, an engineer or a bodybuilder. For some people, this exercise will be perfectly logical. Others will find it extremely stupid. It usually takes 15-20 minutes to sort out the chaos in your head and clear it of social prejudices about what you think is your goal. Your mind and memories will suggest false answers. But when the correct answer finally appears, you will have the feeling that it came from a completely different source.
For those who have never thought about the meaning of life and are too rooted in their views, it will take significantly longer to filter out all the false answers, perhaps more than an hour. But if you persist, after 100, 200, or maybe even 500 answers, you will be overwhelmed by the answer, which will cause a storm of emotions in you; this answer will break you. If you've never done this, it's likely to sound silly to you. It may seem silly, but do it anyway.
During the exercise, some of your answers will be very similar to others. A number of answers can simply be repeated. In this case, you can try to look from a different angle and generate 10-20 responses to some new topic. And that's great. You can list any answers that pop into your head as long as you keep writing.
At some point (usually after about 50-100 responses) you may want to finish writing without noticing that the process "converges". You may feel the urge to get up and find an excuse to do something else. This is fine. Get over that resistance and just keep writing. The feeling of resistance will gradually pass.
You can also find a few answers that will give you a mini burst of emotion, but they won't make you cry - they're a little off the beaten path. Underline these answers as you go so you can come back to them later to create new combinations. Each of them reflects part of your goal, but individually they do not make up the whole picture. When you start to get these responses, it simply means that you are close to the target. Warmer! Go on.
It is important to do this exercise alone and without interruption. If you are a nihilist, you may well start with answers like “I have no purpose,” “Life is meaningless,” and the like. If you keep going, the process will eventually converge.
When I did this exercise, it took me about 25 minutes, and I found my final answer at step 106. Partial pieces of the answer (mini bursts) appeared at steps 17, 39 and 53, and then most of them fell into place and finally took shape in steps 100-106. I felt resistance (I wanted to get up and do something else, it seemed that nothing would work, I felt impatience and even annoyance) at about steps 55-60. At step 80, I took a two-minute pause to close my eyes, relax, clear my mind, and focus on the fact that the answer must come to me. This helped as the answers I started writing after the pause became much clearer.
Here is my final answer: live consciously and courageously, resonate with love and compassion, awaken the strength and character in others, and leave this world peaceful.
When you find your own unique answer to the question "Why am I here?", you will feel how deeply it will resonate with you. It seems that these words have some special energy, and you will feel this energy every time you read them.
Finding your purpose is just the easy part. The hard part is to keep it to yourself every day and work on yourself until you yourself become that goal.
If you're going to ask why this little exercise is so powerful, then just put that question aside until you've successfully completed the process. After going through it to the end, you will most likely get your own answer to the question of why it works. It is likely that if you ask 10 different people who have gone through this exercise, you will get 10 different answers. All of them will be filtered through individual beliefs, and each will have its own reflection of the truth.
Obviously, this process will not work if you complete it before it "converges". I estimate that 80-90% of people should achieve "convergence" in less than an hour. If you are extremely hardened in your beliefs and resist the process, then you may need 5 sessions and 3 hours, but I suspect that such people will simply give up quickly (after 15 minutes) or not try at all. But if you are drawn to read this article, then I doubt that you fall into this category of people.
Exercise Determining Your Mission
Exercise Determining Your Mission is very important, as many people are now doing other than their job, just killing time for a paycheck. Find your Mission, make the decision to prepare yourself for change, and much will change in your life.
The exercise is not easy, it is designed for several days.
It seems that you only need to complete 7 points of the exercise, but a qualitative passage is possible only 1-3 points per day.
Nevertheless, try to do this exercise with high quality, and you will get a mini-enlightenment.
And, in the near future, you will be surprised to see how your life changes for the better.
"Defining Your Mission"
- Set three goals for yourself that you want to achieve next year.
For each of these goals, figure out, "If I get this, what more important thing will it be a part of? Find a goal that combines all three of your goals.
- Define for yourself three people of different people whose life path and whose activities delight you. Study their accomplishments carefully and see what higher purpose these accomplishments serve. What do the goals of your chosen people have in common?
- find three different types activities that give you pleasure and indulging in which you "forget about yourself". In order to engage in such activities, you would not spare any money. What do these activities have in common? Write down everything you find.
- Carefully read everything you wrote down. Describe your mission using words from the lists you have compiled. Start like this "My Mission is..."
- What does your mission look like, sound like and feel like? How does your mission fit in with your family, friends, work, community, planet?
- Imagine three people, each of whom can in one way or another serve as an example for you to realize your mission. What would these people advise you if you decided to discuss your plans for the coming year with them? Take their advice to heart. Choose only one goal, the achievement of which will contribute to the realization of your mission. Write down this goal.
- What will you do already next week to achieve this goal and realize your mission? What will you do today? Write down your tips.