Stress is a real scourge of our time - the phenomenon is ambiguous. Research by the famous Canadian physiologist Hans Selye showed that a certain degree of stress can even be beneficial, as it plays a mobilizing role and helps a person adapt to changing conditions. But if the stress is strong and continues for too long, then it overloads the adaptive capabilities of a person and leads to psychological and physiological breakdowns in the body. G. Selye broke the body's stress response into three stages and created the concept of the adaptation syndrome (see Figure 2).

Figure 2-Stages of stress response.

Phase 1. Alarm reaction. As a result of the initial encounter with a stressor, changes occur in the body. The resistance of the body is reduced and, if the stressor is strong enough, death can occur.

Phase 2. Stage of resistance. If the stressor does not stop its impact and you can adapt to it, resistance arises in the body. Signs of an alarm reaction in the body practically disappear. The resistance is getting higher.

Phase 3. Stage of exhaustion. As a result of prolonged interaction with a stressor to which the body is already accustomed, the energy spent on adaptation dries up. The signs of the anxiety reaction reappear, but now they can no longer be changed, and the individual dies.

Development emotional stress can be traced on the example of exam stress. Although exam stress is usually understood as the state of the person taking the exam, in fact, this process takes quite a long time. In reality, exam stress begins from the moment when a student realizes that in the near future he will inevitably have to take one or another exam. The actualization of this thought in different students occurs at different times before the exam: from several weeks to several days, and from this moment, the anxious expectation of the exam begins to grow, which reaches a maximum already in the classroom where the exam takes place. Therefore, the maximum changes in the body of students do not occur during the exam, but before it.

Although after passing the first exam emotional stress significantly weakens, it, as a rule, does not fall to the background values, because the student realizes that he still has other tests ahead of him. If a student gets a lower than expected grade, then the anxious anticipation of the next exam may be even higher. Data from the analysis of functional changes in students during the examination session (including ECG, EEG, biochemical analyzes and neurological parameters) allow us to conclude that under the influence of chronic examination stress, most students experienced significant changes in biochemical parameters, the intensity of blood filling of blood vessels, and the reactivity of brain biopotentials. brain and autonomic heart rate. These violations did not normalize within 2-3 days after the exams.

Based on the concept of G. Selye, in stress caused by strenuous educational activities or passing exams, three stages of its development can also be distinguished.

The first of them is the stage of mobilization or anxiety, which is expressed by the mobilization of all the resources of the body, an increase in the heart rate, and a general restructuring of metabolism.

The second is the stage of resistance or adaptation, when the body manages to adapt to the extreme environmental factor, and if it fails, then the third stage of exhaustion sets in.

Some psychiatrists note that the third phase of stress - exhaustion under certain conditions can be accompanied by increased anxiety, and then turn into depression, and this phenomenon is most often observed in subjects who, under normal conditions, were marked by pronounced pessimism. At the same time, it is important to note that the intensity of a developing adaptive reaction in a person, as a rule, depends not so much on the characteristics of the stressor as on the personal significance of the acting factor. Therefore, the same exam can lead to various psychophysiological and somatic manifestations in different students. This side of stress reactions to sociogenic factors emphasizes the need for a personal approach to this problem.

The first step is to discover and verbalize (clearly verbalize) irrational beliefs. At the same time, special attention is paid to absolutist cognitions, which are manifested in the patient's use of the words "should", "should", "necessary". This so-called tyranny of duty becomes the main object of therapeutic work. The therapist must show the client how this belief system weighs on him.

Once the core irrational beliefs are clarified, work begins on restructuring these cognitions at three levels: cognitive, emotional, and behavioral.

At the cognitive level, the main task of the therapist is to force the patient to give up perfectionism (exaggerated demands for perfection), showing him that this alone will make his life simpler and more joyful.

Socratic dialogue and cognitive debate are used here (a gradual bringing of the client's beliefs to the discovery of their incorrectness and harmfulness).

To influence on emotional damage, the drama of preferences and shoulds is played out to distinguish between these two phenomena - “it would be better” and “should” with the help of role-playing games. Persuasion is carried out at the level of emotions.

To enhance the emotional background, the therapist can, for example, invite members of the therapeutic group to tell one of its participants what they think about him, or encourage participants to admit their shortcomings, “shameful” feelings (envy, hostility, etc.). To do this, patients will have to show courage and make an effort on themselves, but as a result they will see that the group does not condemn them, accepts them as they are, and participants can experience a sense of mutual trust and closeness. To enhance this effect, Ellis used techniques that bring sensual pleasure: a friendly hug, stroking, the expression of kind words that patients had not dared to do before.

At the behavioral level, work is aimed not only at eliminating symptoms, but also at changing cognitions. For example, the tendency to perfectionism can be reduced by doing the following tasks for the therapist:

• ? overcome shyness and make an appointment;
• ? deliberately fail when speaking to the public (therapeutic group);
• ? imagine yourself enduring the situation of failure;
• ? imagine yourself in difficult circumstances and accept them;
• ? allow yourself to enjoy activities only after completing an unpleasant but necessary task;
• ? start doing things right away, without putting it off for later, while enduring the discomfort of fighting the habit;
• ? take on an unpleasant task for the sake of delayed goals;
• ? from time to time to behave in a way that is already rational thinking person(so that the patient can understand that changes are possible).

Albert Ellis sought to bring emotional and rational perception to the same level, that is, to show a person his true needs, and not those real, patient, false or unreal, overstated or understated needs. The work of the psychotherapist should consist largely in revising the goals and desires of the client, assessing them - is this really what he needs, or does it just seem to him that maybe these are far-fetched, and not true needs, and it is they who take away energy from achieving what is truly truly needed?

Ellis believed that for psychological well-being, a person needs to have important life goals and actively strive to achieve them. Therefore, one of the tasks of the therapist in cognitive counseling is to analyze what goals his client sets and what he does to achieve them. After all, goals can be the most “rational”, but at the same time a person does not really do anything to achieve them, he only thinks about it, but postpones everything for later. So, for example, a person decided to find a job, but every day he finds reasons to postpone the search, being distracted by all sorts of other unrelated things. Start, act, and along the way, something will be added that will strengthen your position! Because delayed actions, if we recognize their necessity, give rise to neuroses, and those in turn are aggravated by further inaction. Therefore, if a person really understands that it is necessary to act, he must begin to act without fear of failure. There is a very good proverb: "Not every action brings success, but there is no success without action." We must understand that not every step promises us success, but if we do nothing at all, then there will be no success. This is a very therapeutic proverb and can be used as an objection to a client's resistance. "Well, I acted, acted - and nothing happened." And you immediately remember: "Not every action brings success, but there is no success without action." Even if you did not achieve victory this time, but without making an attempt, there would be no chance of achieving it at all.

It is very important that the goals are adequate, not overestimated, otherwise you will never achieve them, but you will only be disappointed and will always be in frustration, nervous tension, and not underestimated, as they will not allow a person to realize personal growth, reveal their potential, which will also make a person unhappy. Abraham Maslow said: "I warn you that if you refuse to realize your abilities, you will be a deeply unhappy person." Like everything in nature - any blade of grass, any animal - so a person is programmed for maximum self-realization, and when, not due to some circumstances, but independently, a person moves away from development into passivity, laziness or some false goals, then this eventually causes frustration, dissatisfaction, tension and emotional, and sometimes even somatic disturbances.

Since a person lives in society, sometimes the achievement of his personal goals may not be consistent with the goals and desires of other people, which leads to conflicts both with others and with himself. He often has to solve a dilemma: to give up his desires or to act against the desires of others. This moment is also the subject of the work of a counseling psychologist or therapist, who must look at where the client's desires and aspirations conflict with the desires and aspirations of other people, and help him find a reasonable compromise. If a person “pulls the blanket over himself” all the time, his relationships with other people will deteriorate, become fragile and insincere, and if, on the contrary, he constantly gives in to others, then his own desires will suffer and his self-realization will not occur, from which the person will also will feel miserable. This means that it is necessary to be diplomatic and show that “I am ready to give in, but I am counting on certain concessions from you, let's try to be more mutually compliant!”. In many cases, the psychologist will find that there are no real contradictions as such, there is simply a different assessment of conflicting events, which is based on different psychological attitudes. And it may turn out that in order to resolve the conflict, it will be enough to look at the situation differently, and then it will become clear that the satisfaction of your desire will actually not hurt anyone. To do this, it is necessary to investigate what beliefs underlie actions - rational, allowing to achieve the goal or irrational, preventing this.

Ellis's approach can also be called hedonistic. We know that there is such a direction in philosophy - hedonism. Its ancestor was Aristippus, who lived in ancient Greece. According to this current, the purpose of human life lies in obtaining pleasure. And, apparently, nature itself has laid in a person certain indicators of what he should strive for. The bad, as a rule, is unpleasant, painful; and the good brings pleasure. And one should be less led by social prejudices and trust the voice of nature more, because she could not make good and pleasant sinful and bad. It must be said that Ellis put a slightly different meaning into this term, hedonism. He spoke of the so-called delayed hedonism. What it is? Ellis believed that a person should have certain delayed pleasures, for which he is now ready to endure some discomfort. For example, you understand that you will enjoy receiving a diploma and further good employment. But for this, now it is necessary to engage in and sometimes do certain work, pass tests and exams, which are now right across your throat. Knowing that your real efforts will eventually pay off helps you force yourself to study hard (to bore yourself with some activity). An athlete trains, tortures himself, in order to win later and receive awards and glory, because he understands that without effort he will not achieve what he wants.

Many neurotic personalities do not know how to live with delayed hedonism. They prefer instant hedonism and follow the principle “if I can’t get something right away, then I won’t try,” that is, they cannot set themselves up for the fact that effort now will lead to success in the future. This is one of the most important tasks in raising children - to teach them from childhood to work for delayed pleasure: if you finish a quarter well, you will get a bicycle, etc. Children must learn to force themselves to endure hardships, and not just for the sake of it, but for the sake of receiving pleasures in the future. Friedrich Engels said: "Man must live the joys of tomorrow." A person should have as many different delayed joys as possible, associated, for example, with a pleasant meeting, achievement, success or some other pleasure in the future, the expectation of which brightens our life today.

We were taught for a long time how to be obedient, well-mannered. But never - how to show emotions.

And now, most people suffer from this inability, attempts to suppress their emotions and not show, or inability to curb them. In other words, suffering from emotional immaturity.

The task of the present time is to grow up emotionally, to be healthy physiologically and psychologically, to come to harmony in your life and become happy.

Read in the article what emotional immaturity is, what impact it has on life and health, why you need to get to know your emotions, and how to manage them.

How emotional immaturity manifests itself in everyday communication

Emotional immaturity is the inability to act on the basis of expediency, removing for the time of evaluation.

We were taught to be smart, well-mannered, we were brought up with a cult of education and intelligence, how to look beautiful in the eyes of others. And how to manage your emotions, how to learn them understand, accept and express- No.

A person is constantly emotional, but he shows some emotions, and is ashamed of others. He refuses some emotions, considering them “bad”, and their expression is indecent.

Others, on the contrary, are trying to recreate in order to please others.

It happens that you are provoked over and over again, and out of a desire to be good, you restrain your reaction.

Due to emotional immaturity, you cannot show it without realizing that it is sometimes necessary to preserve yourself and your personal boundaries(or it will destroy your health and comfort).

Or maybe another person needs it, so that he finally hears what he needs and thinks.

By denying your emotional reaction to a person, you deprive both him and yourself of acceptance and unconditional love.

We offer a simple algorithm for defining and protecting your personal boundaries.

Beautiful expression of emotions does not exclude "bad" emotions.

The other person can behave as they please, but only you know what is acceptable to you and what is not.

And if his actions concern specifically you, then you have the right to stand up for yourself. And with all the beauty of emotions that they are capable of, give him what you want.

At such times, training the courage to express your truth. You feel that this person, as it were, deliberately pulls you out for this reaction.

And after the release of emotions, it remains for you to express your deep gratitude to him, which gave you the opportunity to show yourself true, and, therefore, the opportunity to accept more of your facets.

This does not mean at all that you need to break loose on everyone in a row - there are certain practices for this. (I will talk about them below.)

If you understand that this is your internal discontent, aggression and imbalance, and a person is an innocent trigger (for example, our children), then your task is to be able to change the usual reaction stamp and develop a new style of behavior, be able to focus on your feelings.

It’s normal to sort things out (even if it’s stormy), it’s much worse to accumulate resentment inside and wait for everything to change (life, circumstances, people) without changing yourself.

The longer you held back in a relationship with another person, trying to "save face" with internal heat, the more intense will be the release of these emotions during the first sincere contacts.

Gradually, such explosive moments and work on yourself will clear the field of your relationship, and you will be able to calmly express thoughts when misunderstandings arise.

How emotional immaturity affects your health

The whole science of psychosomatics is based on understanding the influence of emotions on human health.

The fear of looking bad in the eyes of others leads to the rejection of emotions and rejection of oneself. We feel one thing, we manifest another.

This affects health in the appearance headaches, heaviness and pain in the back of the head.

Gradually clamped emotions settle in different parts of the body (depending on which area you did not show it), blocking the free movement of energy and destroying the body.

Our skin is a mirror of our attitude to the world.

If we lie to others and, above all, to ourselves, then the skin reflects this to us. dryness and flaking. If we are ashamed to express ourselves in the way we would really like, then on the skin appear age spots, freckles.

Read what the body signals when we get sick.

Trapped emotions emerge scabs on the skin. In all cases, when you suppressed the reaction, the energy of this charge settled in the body.

And if the body is covered with scabs, rashes, then it is actively trying to clear itself of trapped emotions, a dishonest attitude towards itself and the world.

If your body is clean, it may mean that you express yourself sincerely and honestly without being ashamed or deceived. It may also mean that the purification process has not yet begun for you, and the body is saving up inside until the limit of patience comes.

The body can also be clean if you are not ashamed to express your emotions violently and consider it normal.

But at the same time, there are communication problems that tell you that by showing emotions too violently, you harm harmonious social contact, pleasant communication.

That is, you deprive yourself and your family of a harmonious living environment, destroying your life. After all, who wants to be a constant receiver of someone else's negativity.

Therefore, balance is important everywhere!

Stages of emotional maturation

It is similar to how a person grows. But not everyone has emotional maturity along with physical maturity.

To become emotionally mature, you need to go through these stages to know and understand yourself, and then learn how to manage it.

When you go to meet yourself, you must first cleanse yourself of negative and repressed feelings and emotions. This is the way to grow up.

First stage. Allowing yourself to enter the process of growing up

It's like a birth decision.

At this stage, acknowledge and accept that you are emotionally immature and make the choice to grow up, to know yourself.

Initially, you may not be aware, but already strive for it. Moreover, such a decision can come to you without understanding how emotionally immature you are.

You just want something different in life, or circumstances will develop in such a way as to push you to the “new birth”.

You may not be satisfied with your own reactions to events, the behavior of children, people, and you will want something qualitatively new.

Go through meditation. Its purpose is to help your body remove tightness, blocks, to release negative emotions.

Second phase. Knowing Your Reactions

When you were forced to hide negative reactions all your life, brought up a respectable person in you, taught you to suppress with all your might what might seem indecent to someone, you grew up as a person who is absolutely far from his true self and does not know his real emotions.

You do not know what you are capable of in anger or in joy. Like a small child who accidentally waves a pen near his eyes and does not understand that this is his hand.

The child is just beginning to know himself, that these are his arms, his legs, they move like that.

Understand and track in yourself that you are hiding your emotions or, on the contrary, are splashing them too violently.

At this stage recognize your emotions, and for this react and show this reaction. Do not hide and muffle, but show her.

Sometimes it will look indecent, shocking people who know you as a "balanced person." And it will surprise you that you can do it.

If you didn’t manage to do it in an environmentally friendly way, then thank the situation, forgive yourself, ask for forgiveness from the interlocutor (you can mentally, if you don’t have the courage to do it personally) and let go of the situation.

After all, she gave you back a part of herself!

See also Algorithm of 3 steps, which will help restore balance.

Third stage. Emotion management training

When you know how you can react, what situation causes what emotions, the time comes mastering the skills of managing their reactions.

There comes an understanding of what caused this reaction, acceptance of the situation and choice: show it or not. Understanding how it can be useful to you and others comes.

This is a mutual process - you will never react to a person in whom there is no aggression, and if it is in him, then yours indicates it to him.

Or you, realizing that this is your reaction to your own dissatisfaction with yourself, will be able to restrain yourself, express your opinion in the mildest form.

And then you will find a way to release this reaction from yourself, based on the expediency for the health of the body and relationships, maintaining balance, satisfying your need and not offending the other person.

You will already be able to choose when you react, and when you should work it out on your own. Not judging yourself as “good” or “bad”, but accepting the fact that it is in you and needs to be released.

Thus, you maintain your health, both physical and psychological.

To learn how to manage your emotions, determine what type of person you belong to:

• An emotional person is one who is not used to holding back.

Such people need to learn how to release emotions not on people, but with the help of techniques (angry writing - splashing onto paper through writing, exercise stress- burning emotions through the body: running, squats, cleaning the house, breathing exercises and other intense activities).

• An unemotional person is one who is used to not noticing his emotions, suppressing them..

It is necessary to learn to feel and live emotions without suppressing them. Let them show up.

This is a step towards self-recognition, self-acquaintance and acceptance. And then you can already apply the methods described in the paragraph above.

When you refuse to feel your emotions, considering them bad, or, conversely, ashamed that they are too bright, and it seems to you that you will not be understood, you refuse yourself, do not accept yourself whole.

This is where understanding that the appearance of emotion is a reflex of our body, this is the nature of our cells, the habit of responding to a stimulus.

This is the level of animal instincts and impulses. And that's okay.

And your task, as a conscious being, is to learn how to control your reactions.

And act on the basis of not spontaneous response, but based on your feelings and intuition, which are deeper and more solid, and, therefore, will give more stability.

Try to turn to your feelings during an emotional outburst.

Feel how you love your daughter, son, husband, parents and do not want to hurt them. Remember the warmth, tenderness that you feel for them in blessed moments.

And now, this is just a short-term surge due to some reasons.

If you understand that it is necessary to carry out educational measures, then in a sensory-conscious state it will be much more effective.

This is how the process of growing up, transformation and restoration of vitality takes place.

The difference between emotions and feelings - the opinion of Alena Starovoitova

Watch this short video in which Alena Starovoitova talks about what distinguishes feelings from emotions and why it is important to make a choice in favor of feelings.

When you choose to be honest with yourself, when you allow your emotions to come out, and when you accept and forgive yourself, you release stagnant energy and let it flow. new life in a new quality.

In the first year of a child's life, it is impossible to consider his mental development outside of his constant interaction with close people, primarily the mother, who is the mediator and organizer of almost all of his contacts with the environment. A number of works of both domestic and foreign researchers are devoted to the analysis of interaction in the mother-child dyad, the description of its dynamics in different age periods (L.S. Vygotsky, 1983; M.I. Lisina, 1974; S.Yu. Meshcheryakova, 1978; G.Kh.Mazitova, 1977; N.N.Avdeeva, 1982, etc.). A child in the early stages of development is dependent on the mother, not only physically, as a source of realization of all his vital needs for satiety, warmth, security, etc., but also as a regulator of his affective state: she can calm him down, relax, invigorate him , console, increase endurance and set to complicate relationships with the outside world. The most important condition for this is the possibility of synchronizing their emotional states: infection with a smile, syntony in mood and experience of what is happening around. Therefore, it is so important for the child to calm and self-confidence of the mother, giving him a sense of reliability. This is how the baby's primary need for stability and emotional comfort is realized (E. Erikson, 1992.). Many people know how much more calm and prosperous in comparison with the first ones the second children often grow up - interacting with a more experienced, skillful, and therefore easier and freer mother.

The central point in the mental development of a child in the first months of life, as is known, is the formation of individual attachment - (Ainsworth M.D., 1962 and others). Within the framework of this emotional community, according to L.S. Vygotsky in the experience of “The Great We”, the individual affective mechanisms of the child mature and develop - his ability in the future to independently resolve life tasks: organize himself, maintain and maintain activity in relations with the world. Let us consider in more detail what these affective mechanisms are, how they are formed at an early age in the process of the child's interaction with loved ones.

As the child develops, a series of more and more complex life tasks consistently arises, and in order to solve them at each stage, it becomes necessary to actively include in the work a new way of organizing behavior.

The first such vitally important task is the mutual adaptation of the infant and mother to each other in ordinary situations of interaction - feeding, bathing, swaddling, putting to bed, etc. They are repeated from day to day and the baby develops in them the first affective stereotypes of behavior, his first individual habits. These are his first effective mechanisms for organizing behavior, this is how adaptation to fairly uniform, stable environmental conditions occurs. The stable rhythm of everyday life is primarily set by the mother of the child. She is the organizer and constant mediator of meeting absolutely all the vital needs of the child in satiety, warmth, comfort, tactile contact, communication.

The assimilation of these stable forms of life common to those close to them is the child's first adaptive achievement. At the same time, these initially dominant forms of adaptation are still very limited. The baby of the first 2-3 months of life is characteristically impatient, reacts heavily to changes in the daily routine - violation of the feeding regimen, sleep-wakefulness, can experience a change of scenery; getting used to certain “hands”, the manner of a person caring for him most of the time, he is having a hard time replacing him (Brazelton T.V., 1972).

During this period, the expressed affective manifestations of the child are mostly negative in nature (screaming, crying). Their adaptive meaning is a simple signaling effect on an adult, a call to satisfy urgent needs, to eliminate the unpleasant.

However, these signals call the adult not only to the direct satisfaction of the specific needs of the child. An adult seeks to find more general ways to comfort the baby. The most common of them are motion sickness, cradling, accustoming the baby to a dummy, which have firmly entered the traditional culture of nursing a child. It is characteristic that all of them are based on the rhythmic organization of sensations that are very important for the infant (primarily vestibular, oral, tactile). The kid soon begins to actively use these techniques, which help him calm down when a loved one is not around. Subsequently, when the child masters more complex ways of self-toning, the need for them becomes less - so by 6-7 months, thumb sucking usually stops (Braselton T.B., 1982). However, they can also become firmly established if the baby is in situations of prolonged discomfort and is deprived of the attention of loved ones. So we often meet with endless rocking and sucking of a finger, a corner of a diaper in cases of so-called "hospitalism" (Spitz R.A., 1945, Bowlby J., 1979).

Normally, relatives quite soon master ways of caring for a child and methods of controlling his emotional state, and the end of the third month is normally characterized by the emergence of a balance in the expression of positive and negative emotions (A. Vallon, 1967). The interaction of the child with the mother is increasingly beginning to be determined by positive emotions. Since the basic stereotypes of satisfaction of needs are already taking shape, the need for communication, for the attention of an adult, for his direct emotional response now comes to the fore.

As you know, the very face of a person from the first month of life is the most important and strongest ethological irritant for the baby. Now, however, his emotional expression, eyes and smile of a loved one are becoming more and more significant. If up to 2-3 months any face, and as experimental studies have shown, even a mask or a very rough imitation of a face (a circle and two dots instead of eyes) causes a reaction of animation in an infant and a preference in time for fixing any other stimulus presented, then after 3 months the child waiting for the smile of an adult. Experimental data are also known, according to which children look at their mother's face more often and longer when it expresses pleasure (B.C. Epanchin, J. Paul, 1987). Moreover, there are observations (experiments by O. Bazhenova, 1985) indicating that at this age, at the sight of an indifferent face leaning over him, the child experiences anxiety and actively demands participation.

A new class of individual life stereotypes of the child begins to develop - the ways he is accustomed to establishing and maintaining communication, direct emotional communication. The previously undifferentiated demanding cry begins to take on the intonation of a request (J. Bruner, 1977). The child learns more diverse forms of communication, entering into the usual rituals of emotional interaction with an adult in different situations: caring for him and the stereotypes of early games accepted in his family. The most common form of common pleasure at this time is the game of "hide and seek" - the appearance and disappearance of an adult's face from the baby's field of vision when he himself covers his face or for a second the face of a child. The moment of resuming eye contact is experienced by the baby most acutely and causes delight.

In the future, in common with adult games, not only direct emotional infection, but also a general focus on a sensory bright color and sounding toy gradually begins to acquire more and more importance. With its help, an adult gets the opportunity not only to calm the baby, but also to cheer him up, to increase his activity. It is important to note that in these interactions, their rhythm and repetition continue to be of particular importance.

Soon the child himself gets the opportunity to self-toning himself with the help of active manipulation of the sensory environment. By this time, he already has the ability not only to take a toy, but also to act with it in a coordinated manner, extracting various sensory sensations (knocking, throwing, twirling, etc.). Of course, these actions give him more complex and varied sensations than the primitive actions of self-irritation, which are more characteristic of the child. younger age. However, they also remain rhythmically organized, aimed more at reproducing a certain desired sensory effect than at an active examination of the environment. The stage of formation and predominance of “circular reactions” in behavior (according to J. Piaget) covers a significant part of the second half of a child's life.

Soon after the child begins to pull himself up and lean on his legs, his endless “jumping” and throwing a toy or pacifier out of bed become characteristic. What is important here is that with the greatest intensity and, most importantly, the greatest joy, this circulating activity turns into a game in the presence and with the participation of an adult. At the same time, the child receives pleasure not only from the actions performed, but from the reaction of a loved one. At this age, the earlier game of “hide and seek” acquires the same circulating character. Now the child himself can hide and stick out, catching the eye of an adult.

Such circulating activity allows the child to independently maintain a sense of security and stability in relations with the world. At the same time, with their help, there is a further development of interaction with loved ones. It is on the basis of such circulating reactions that play rituals are usually formed, which make it possible to unite attention, general concentration not only directly on each other, but also on some object of common pleasure. These rituals prepare the possibility of developing the first proto-declarative actions (J. Bruner, 1975), which designate these situations and prepare the child and adult for the opportunity to control each other's attention and coordinate emotional assessments.

The ability to control the attention of another is associated with the development in the child of a readiness to follow the instructions of an adult and the appearance of his own pointing gesture. The possibility of coordinated interaction begins to develop. Until now, a directed appeal to an adult was not so relevant for a child. They constituted such a unity that the child's desires were fulfilled, as it were, automatically, in response to a simple indication of discomfort or demand. If earlier the child simply reached out for the object of desire, now he pulls his hands towards him, but at the same time he turns his gaze to the adult, this is how the first appeals and pointing gestures are born.

Thus, feedback is formed in emotional interaction. The child gradually begins to take into account the emotional reaction of the adult to his actions. If at an earlier stage of development the baby had a primitive affective infection with the brightest state of another person (initially yawning, later - laughter, crying) - his plastic reflection, now a true imitation of the emotional reactions of adults begins to grow out of him. So, a five-month-old child can already imitate the expression of the mother's face and play with pleasure with the expression of his face in the mirror (Braselton T.V., 1982). Developed initially in play, this ability of an adequate emotional response leads to reciprocal coordination of emotional states; as a result, the child has the opportunity for a more active and varied influence on the environment. By six months, the child already recognizes the main emotions of his loved ones well and begins to express surprise, resentment, sadness, anger, joy, confusion, embarrassment, etc. in a differentiated and adequate way.

This is a period of intensive formation of the operational side of emotional interaction in the mother-child dyad. Of course, the reciprocity of behavior is achieved when all the necessary technical components of this interaction appear: the ability to independently change the position of the body, change the distance of communication, facial expressions, but the central role among the factors belongs to the gaze as the strongest regulator of behavior (Argile, 1967, 69).

It should also be noted that the fundamental changes in the assessment of the affective state of another person, occurring during the first six months of a child's life, consist in the appearance of a greater orientation towards its sign (positive, negative, or neutral), that is, the quality of this state. According to pilot study(Lisina M.I., Meshcheryakova S.Yu., Sorokina A.I., 1983) children of the first half of the year are more sensitive to the difference in the intensity of adult attention, it is not so important for them to highlight negative expressions (expressions of anger, reproach). At that time, he sharply manifests a special - negative reaction to the indifference of an adult: in this case, the child looks alarmed, depressed, upset, and after a while his response behavior is sharply slowed down. It is in the second half of life that infants begin to evaluate the expression of an adult's displeasure as something fundamentally important and react to it accordingly - they themselves frown, move away, and cry resentfully.

The growing selective orientation of the child to the emotional reactions of a loved one qualitatively changes his relationship with the environment. He becomes less dependent on his immediate stimuli and more dependent on the mediating emotional reaction of the mother, now not just calming or activating, but already directionally organizing his behavior. A close adult can more and more successfully “persuade” the child to wait a little, endure in conditions of discomfort, “infect” with his calmness and positive emotion, focus on the important impression. The data of A. Gesell (1974) confirm that in the period of 7-8 months the baby acquires a significantly greater affective stability in contacts with the world, and a differentiated orientation of the child to the emotional reaction of the mother makes a huge contribution to achieving it.

At the same time, these more complex ways of developing stable and reliable relations with the world also turn out to be insufficient. Now the child becomes vulnerable in his ability to adapt in a new way. He begins to show anxiety in case of violation not so much of the usual forms of care, but of the stereotype of relationships with loved ones. It is known that at this age, anxiety naturally arises when the mother, the center of the child's affective adaptation to the world, leaves. The result of the development of a stereotype of individual relationships with loved ones is the fear of a “stranger face” characteristic of the age of 8 months: a child, at the sight of a stranger, demonstrates fear and displeasure (E. Maccoby, J. Masters, 1970; B. L. White, 1975), or at least embarrassment and confusion (E.O. Smirnova, I.A. Kondratovich, 1973). This phenomenon testifies not only to the fact that the child well differentiates between his own and others. It is characteristic that although the recognition of the mother by the infant itself is noted even before the age of six months, children no older than 6 months show their ability to recognize loved ones by the fact that when interacting with them they are more happy and more likely to show initiative than in contacts with strangers - this is the so-called " positive recognition” (Mazitova G.Kh., 1979). Now the absence of a loved one is difficult for the child, just as at 2 months the child was especially sensitive to the constancy of the person caring for him, so now he needs the stability of the mother's emotional response.

This new period of anxiety and fears of the child actually reflects progress in his development, but sets new tasks for adults: to help the child overcome the growing anxieties in violation of habitual forms of life. And mechanisms capable of solving these problems are again beginning to mature in common games. The content of these games, of course, remains direct emotional infection and communication around the toy. At the same time, the experience of very special impressions begins to occupy an increasing place in them. Now he begins to attract and amuse what used to frighten him. The first fears of the child were associated with a rapid advance towards him, a sharp imbalance, a sudden interruption of the usual rhythm. As part of the overall game, such impressions begin to make him laugh: he laughs when he is “butted”, “caught up”, thrown up on his knees and hands. Novelty and surprise are being introduced into games more and more, it is woven into the general rhythmic organization familiar to the baby, into the habitually repeating stereotype of the game as an element of the plot that appears for the first time, adventures - “Now I will eat you”, “Over the bumps, into the hole boo”, etc. P. So the child begins to train the ability to survive the situation of violation of the stereotype, to experience the pleasure of surprise.

These tasks are all the more relevant because at this time the whole life situation of the child changes significantly. This is due primarily to the fact that the baby in the process of its growth becomes more resilient, mobile and more often finds itself in unexpected, unstable situations - it faces new adaptive tasks. A. Vallon characterizes this age by the fact that the “new” begins to frighten the child less and give more pleasure, he becomes more and more curious. Fundamentally new relations with the world begin to develop, based on the development of affective mechanisms of adaptation to changing, uncertain conditions - mechanisms of expansion. They, as mentioned above, are first experienced by a child under the protection of an adult in the mainstream of general play as an experience of an acute moment with its immediate positive resolution.

So, by the end of the first year, the child's stereotyped "circular activity" in manipulations with objects and toys disappears; what is important is not so much repeatability and reliability as novelty, the discovery of new possibilities. Therefore, he has the ability to be more flexible, enterprising in handling toys. And again, the opportunities obtained in the game begin to be gradually used by the child for real adaptation.

About 9-10 months, the first attempts to actively explore the near space are observed. This becomes really possible not only because by this time the child gets the opportunity of independent movement (primarily crawling, he begins to break away from his mother, explore distant and unfamiliar places). It is the emergence of curiosity, the possibility, in case of a violation of the usual course of events, to experience not panic, but interest, which underlies the development of true exploratory behavior. In addition, now the child begins to pay attention not only to the subject of interest to him, but also to the obstacle on the way to the goal. He begins to take into account, and then to examine, to look for ways to overcome the barrier, for the first time he gets the opportunity to see and evaluate the results of his trial and error, without which it is impossible to establish cause-and-effect relationships in the future. It was at this time that the first attempts of the baby to move away the obstacle usually appear, to reach the right thing with the help of a stick, another toy, that is, the appearance of the first experience of using tools. It is known that these attempts are assessed as a very important stage in the intellectual development of the child, but achieving it is impossible without the formation of an appropriate affective mechanism of expansion - adaptation to changing conditions, mobilizing to master the new, to overcome obstacles.

As you know, along with the acquisition of skills of independent movement in space, the most important adaptive achievement by the end of the first year is the beginning of speech development. Of course, it was wrong to count speech development from the appearance of the first words, which is typical for this particular time. Prior to this, the most important stage in the development of the proto-language had been passed. From the very first months, the baby actively communicated with loved ones with the help of cooing, cooing, in this interaction he learned to understand and repeat the mother's intonations, express his states and pronounce the phonemes of his native language.

The stage of babbling just reflects this ability of the child to reproduce stable combinations of sounds, and at some point this turns into his favorite pastime. Babble is stimulated by the participation of an adult and constantly accompanies common games. Increasingly, the child begins to purely repeat after his mother and weave into his babbling new sound combinations that are interesting to him. It is interesting that if at this moment the mother again repeats the sounds reproduced by him after the child, he begins to play them especially actively. So his babble is getting closer and closer to the sound structure of his native language.

Against this background, the stable designations common to the adult and the baby begin to be fixed for the most familiar and favorite household and play activities. Fixing the first proto-words to these repetitive situations (“bye-bye”, “coo-coo”, “bang”, “tick-tock”, “bye”) becomes possible due to the reliance on the affective stereotype of interaction between an adult and a child that has already developed by this time. . Thus, we see that speech development is also directly dependent on the formation of mechanisms for the affective organization of behavior.

With the development of the stereotype of emotional interaction, the isolation in it of a fused unity of more specific relations between an adult and a child, the appearance of the first “real” words used as a request, appeal, call, and, finally, an indication (mother, give, etc.) is also associated. . Thus, the possibilities of mediated contact are further expanded - not only through objects, toys, gestures, but already through the word. The word also begins to denote the quality of the relationship, the quality of what is happening with the child (“good”, “no”, “possible”, “bad”, “bo-bo”), thereby preparing a new opportunity to regulate his behavior. In the meantime, he himself uses these words for pleasure, for playing, confirming the pleasant repetition or novelty of the situation, the possibility of controlling it.

Thus, at the end of the first year, the child experiences a state of not just well-being, but rather even some emotional upsurge: he owns a well-developed life stereotype, developed ways of emotional interaction with loved ones, and is active in learning new things. He is in the center of attention of all those close to him, his achievements are discussed and admired by everyone. The kid begins to demonstrate his skills at the request, and this also turns into an exciting game for him, a means of enhancing the emotional reaction of loved ones. It is no coincidence that against this background, the first steady successes appear in mastering the elements of social and everyday skills (with pleasure hugs and kisses at the request, says goodbye, begins to ask for a potty, support a cup or spoon, etc.) and sufficiently developed game rituals, such as “patties”, “magpie-crow”. very important in the future further development it becomes possible to unite the attention of a child with a loved one on some common action for a longer time, the opportunity to look at a picture in a book together, show a cockerel or a dog, demonstrate how they “talk”, listen to fairly long children's poems. Nevertheless, the next step in affective development again becomes the loss of emotional balance - the first serious crisis in relations with an adult, characteristic of a one-year-old child.

According to the definition of L.S. Vygotsky, the formation of walking is the moment of entry into the period of this crisis - the period of "rapid development of affective life - the first stage in the development of children's will." Although traditionally this crisis is not considered acute, nevertheless, even at this time, pronounced disturbances in sleep and wakefulness, loss of appetite, and an increase in emotional lability (the appearance of tearfulness, resentment) can be observed at this time. These difficulties appear quite naturally and fit into the general logic of affective development. Let us consider what is the meaning of the upheavals occurring at this time with the child.

Mastering walking dramatically changes the life situation. An adult ceases to be a prerequisite for the adaptation of a child, who is increasingly left alone with the outside world and at times begins to lose a loved one as an indispensable emotional guide. During this period, not only the physical, but also the mental separation of the child from the adult takes place - the separation of his self-perception from the former merged experience of “We”.

The difficulties of adaptation that the child experiences at this critical time are manifested in the fact that he, left alone, falls under the power of the forceful influences of the surrounding sensory field. At this time, impressions begin to capture the child so much that it begins to interfere with the development of his interaction with adults. It can be extremely difficult for him to break away from the object of interest to him and share attention with an adult (as it was before). It becomes difficult to reach him, he is too immersed in stringing the rings of the pyramid, carrying the typewriter, he cannot take his eyes off it, he is captured by pouring sand, shifting pebbles. A characteristic example of “field” behavior can also be the desire to run recklessly in the direction of the object you like, to perform actions dictated by the situation and the properties of objects: endlessly open and close doors, climb into all the boxes in a row, without even focusing on their contents, climb ladders, chairs , “stick” to the fence, etc. Wherein close child, who until recently completely controlled his behavioral regulation, faces the fact that often he cannot lead the baby away from some random impression.

When trying to suppress such tendencies in the child's behavior - by prohibiting, directly imposing their logic of behavior - parents are faced with the fact that a previously obedient and contented child becomes stubborn, capricious, demonstrates vivid protest reactions - negativism, aggression (he can even bite or hit an adult ). Thus, the mother begins to feel that she is losing emotional control over the situation of interaction with the baby, who is completely captured by the "field" temptations that arise in front of him.

The way out of the first affective crisis is most painless if the adult does not shift the blame onto the child and understands that the difficulties of his organization are created by his direct capture by the dynamics of the surrounding field. In this case, he does not come into conflict with either the baby or the field trends, but rather uses them, trying to switch the child's attention in the right direction and, in order to distract him, finds another vivid impression. A pointing gesture and a pointing word are of great help in this. Every attentive mother knows that a child will not have a serious protest reaction if you do not simply try to pull him away from a puddle or a fence, forbid picking up a noticed pebble, but indicate another, no less bright affective point of the environment: “There the bird has flown”, “Look, which car"; use another distracting activity, which is also set by the field: “Run along that path”, etc.

It is characteristic that such techniques are traditionally accepted for organizing a one-year-old child, they are usually offered by an experienced grandmother, but the mother can be in a hurry, she can be too upset by an unexpected change in her relationship with the baby, and often she tries to break him, demanding good behavior, at that moment, when he just can't fulfill her request. For example, he often cannot interrupt his unfinished action (do not flip through a book, do not complete the pyramid, do not shake everything completely out of the box, etc.). Conflicts are often associated with difficulties, which are typical for this time of crisis, to put a child who has already asked for it on the potty, with discord in the feeding situation - when a child already holding a spoon in his hand begins to actively smear food on the table, go out for a walk and return home, with laying down sleep, etc.

The emergence of a sustained conflict can exacerbate the manifestations of the crisis described above, which otherwise can be smoothed out.

"Distracting maneuvers" cannot be assessed as a movement on the occasion of a capricious child. They are also an ambulance in organizing the correct behavior of the child, and allow you to maintain an emotional connection with the baby, pleasure and comfort in interaction, protect him from the accumulation of negative experience, maintain the necessary ideas about yourself as a good, obedient child. In addition, under their protection, it becomes possible to ripen the mechanisms of independent overcoming of impulsive tendencies.

The maturation of these mechanisms is also extremely difficult without the special help of a loved one. This help is also provided quite naturally and is not considered by relatives as some kind of special effort. Traditionally, at this time, they begin to say in great detail with the child not only what is happening to him now (as it was already before the year), but also what will happen in the near future (“now we will buy milk, and then we will go up the hill , say hello to the kids, ride a little bit and go home...”). It is characteristic that at this time the child begins to listen with pleasure to stories about himself, about his recent “exploits”. Such a semantic comment helps to keep the direction of the general movement in a momentary situation, to introduce it into the general context of life.

At this time, the development of speech allows the child to begin and himself to be included in this commentary. He not only listens with pleasure, but also names - he notes individual bright events of what is happening not only for a loved one, as it was before, but also for himself. The so-called “egocentric speech” (J. Piaget, L. S. Vygotsky) begins to develop. According to L.S. Vygotsky, one of its most important functions is planning. It is the possibility of planning - setting and maintaining a common semantic perspective in the future that will give the child the opportunity to safely get out of the crisis of the first year. It is obvious how important it is for her development to keep the emotional connection of loved ones with the baby at this difficult moment of his development.

On the way out of this crisis, the child becomes able to organize himself with the help of a rule he has lived through and comprehended together with an adult. He is now “good” not only because everyone loves him, but also because he follows the rule, meeting the expectations of those close to him.

The period of early childhood (beginning with the exit from the first affective crisis and ending with the entry into a new crisis of 3 years of age) is one of the most intense and eventful periods emotional development child. And although this period is traditionally associated with achievements in the sensorimotor field, in the development of speech, here we would like to consider how these achievements of the child are ensured by his progress in affective development. At this time, the child continues to actively master individual ways of affectively organizing his relations with the world.

We have already said that the first task that confronted him when he learned to move in space himself was to establish his own distance, safety in interaction with the environment. Until the child began to actively move around, these questions were within the competence of an adult, and in those moments when he was left alone for a short time, he was kept by an instinctive sense of self-preservation, the so-called "sense of the edge." Possible bruises and falls at that time were rather associated not with negligence, but with uncoordinated movements, then the relatives themselves actively encouraged him to let the element of risk into life, helping to sit down from a standing position, break away from the support, overcome the first sills and steps.

About a year old, when a child finds himself face to face with the exciting influence of the sensory field, he temporarily loses not only a sense of danger - he becomes careless it is impossible and “bo-bo”, runs after everything that moves), but also the possibility of maintaining some kind of its own meaningful line of behavior. It takes time for both the sense of the edge and the possibility of retaining the general meaning of what is happening to return to it. In interaction with a loved one, in infecting him with an assessment of what is happening, his own emotional marks are already formed, dangerous places, which he gradually begins to punctually follow, already himself, warning his mother about a hole in the road or announcing that now you can run without holding on to the handle. The first methods of establishing a distance from danger are emerging.

At the new level, the development of other details of a stable way of life continues. As we have seen, by the age of one, with normal development, the child had formed a sufficiently developed affective stereotype of his life with a set of certain habits in everyday and play behavior, ways of emotional contact. It was created by the mother, constantly supported by her, and, although the baby’s contribution to it increased all the time, it was their common property. Sharing the constant infant unity with the mother, the increasing frequency of the baby being alone with the increasingly complex world around him require a clearer and more stable marking not only in relation to danger. All aspects of the baby's life are noticeably enriched. Of course, such marking is carried out, first of all, with the help of the word. Actually, she goes for mom as an introduction to his life more and more names of objects and their properties. The first words that appeared in the region of the year were demonstrative, now the naming is of great importance for ordering the surrounding impressions. It always occurs in an emotionally significant situation, and the word introduced in this way is usually repeated by the child.

Therefore, ordering goes under the sign “mine” (although the child may not use the first person for quite a long time). At this time, the permanent attributes of all his activities appear and begin to be called: a plate from which he eats, pajamas, a pot, a toy with which he sleeps, a blanket, a rug on the wall, etc. The period of gathering, hoarding begins - the baby begins to collect toys in a box, there is an interest in many small items (buttons, pebbles, pencils, pieces of paper, leaflets) - which you usually need a lot at once. The kid becomes the owner and this is a natural and important period of his affective exploration of the world.

Gradually, a collection of stable signs of oneself is formed. All manifestations of oneself in the world become important. A child of this age especially monitors their constancy. Regularity, repeatability of achieving results and confirmation of his success by others are important to him. Just at this time, the baby sits on the pot in the center of attention and proudly demonstrates its contents, begins to scribble with chalk or pencil, noting with satisfaction the resulting trace, begins not only to recognize himself in the mirror, but also to experiment with pleasure with reflection.

At the same time, a world of stable signs of the environment is being formed. First of all, of course, the world of things connected with people, first with loved ones: “mother's bag”, “grandfather's glasses”, “grandmother's knitting needles”, “daddy's watch”, then with especially striking ones - a policeman's whistle, a driver's cap, etc. . And here he is trying to maintain the reliability of the signs he has mastered, keeping an eye on the preservation of the belonging of the thing, the attribute of the character, the usual ritual of dealing with each of his relatives.

Against the background of this assertion of constancy, reliability of the environment and himself in it, the child begins to actively experiment with himself. Just at this time, already being in a fairly well-established relationship with a distant environment, he performs reckless actions with his body, often really dangerous due to the fact that he can, being carried away, stuff some small object into his nose, pull on a bag on the head. At an early age, experiments with speech are also characteristic: having barely learned to speak, he tries to rhyme, jokingly distort words. Now he begins to really use the toy, extracting from it all possible sensory properties, functional qualities that it possesses. At the same time, he is very captured by the impressions received, immersed in their experience. This time is characterized by the appearance of a long fuss with the details of the designer, with cubes, wheels, boxes, inserts, pyramids, cars, strollers, sand, water pouring. At the same time, not only the functional meaning of the toy is significant, but also its sensual texture;

Among the impressions that capture him, a significant place is occupied by impressions originally associated with vitally significant sensations and ethological signs. This possibility arises just after the weakening of his special sensitivity to the structure and dynamics of spatial field tendencies. This leads to a new increase in the baby's attention to the sensations of his own body, to games with self-irritation. It is at this time that episodes of masturbation, tugging at the ear, navel, etc., disturbing the mother, may appear. Under favorable circumstances, they will remain episodes, but under conditions of hospitalism, asthenia, prolonged stress, etc., they can firmly gain a foothold.

On the other hand, now he gets a greater opportunity to realize the meaning of what is happening - to “grab” the ethological sign of the situation. And above all, he again begins to feel the danger himself, and often feels it even more sharply than an adult. For example, any hole, a violation of the integrity of an object (a hole in the sink where water goes, a ball deflated before our eyes, etc.) can be felt as a threat. It is clear that at this time children are so sensitive to the irregularity of the face, the disproportion of the figure of a random oncoming one, now the fear of a mask, an old face, is already expressed.

Later, when the child, together with the adult, is able to put this separate most striking sign into the holistic semantic context of the situation, he begins to pronounce what is happening, marking it, delimiting it from himself and, thereby, confirming his security: “grandmother is old”, “ uncle’s leg is sick”, “now all the dirty water will run away”. Introduced into a semantic context, these impressions cease to be frightening. Sometimes there are also attempts by the child to directly oppose himself: “Uncle’s leg hurts, but Petya doesn’t.” This does not indicate the child's callousness, but rather the desire to affirm the experience of one's own safety. That is why, with such readiness, he responds to the consolations of his mother in situations when he himself falls or hits (“I almost fell”, “Blow - it’s all gone”).

The ability to sensitively grasp the ethological sign of the situation gives the baby at an early age and a lot of pleasure. One of my favorite games, for example, is based on this: climbing into a “mink” - shelter: under a bush, in a box, under a table. Again, special attention to the close is manifested, which is already expressed in quite a variety of ways to express love and tenderness: kisses, hugs, affectionate naming. At the same time, he begins to be attracted to his peers, he is infected by their fuss, running around, and he seeks to participate in it, getting a lot of pleasure from the general movement and tactile contact. At this time, individuals and affections are not singled out yet (it is not for nothing that adults say “Let's go to the children”), the main thing is that everyone is together, that there are many children and movement, tactile contact. In the event that other exciting experiences are included in the game (sand, water, construction from cubes), children play in depth most often “nearby”.

Such a study of a sensual affective stereotype in relations with the world gives the child very clear, detailed guidelines in determining, fixing and recognizing subsequently pleasant, joyful and terrible. Usually, researchers of affective development pay the most attention to the age of three - a new crisis period in the development of the child. Here we want to emphasize the significance of the previous period, which creates the basic prerequisites for a leap in the development of individual self-consciousness. The impressions that a child experiences at this age are firmly fixed in his affective memory and become the basis for an intuitive understanding of the meaning of what is happening, comfort and discomfort, stability, well-being and danger, good taste and disgust, disgust, which remain relevant for him all his life. And this can be understood by the brightness of recognizing the quality of an impression when it coincides with our childhood memories.

The child collects impressions for working out his individual stereotype on his own, but so far he can organize them into a system only with the help of relatives. He listens with pleasure to more and more complex stories about himself and about everything that happens around him, loves repetitions in them, often asks questions that provoke such repeated repetitions and rejoices when he hears the expected answer. The greatest pleasure to him is the organization, orderliness of his life and the life of his house. The usual rituals accompanying awakening, going to bed, receiving guests, thorough preparations for the journey and the walk itself should be observed.

A thing that is included in the ritual of interaction and becomes someone's required attribute helps the child learn new forms of imitation. If earlier the kid involuntarily followed the intonation, plasticity, gestures of the close ones, without going beyond the boundaries of the general holistic interaction, now he begins with pleasure to single out mom, dad, himself and in the game consciously portrays them with the help of the most significant attributes (glasses, shoes, briefcase, tie, etc.). In the same way, the attributes of other significant persons for the child are worked out: a doctor, a policeman, a driver, etc.

Another cultural way of organizing the impressions of the child at this time is the first children's books. Of course, already before the year the baby begins to listen to the first songs, nursery rhymes, poems, look at the pictures in the book. But at this time, he is impressed, first of all, by the intonation of the mother, the rhythm set by the verses, individual impressions from the pictures that the mother emotionally plays in front of the baby, including him in empathy (“The testicle fell and broke - Grandfather is crying ..” A- a”, the woman cries “Ah-ah-ah” ...). The development of the line of such a rhythmic organization of impressions continues at an older age. Books addressed to young children know how to succeed, precisely when they set such a rhythm, repetition, enumeration and detailing of impressions, as set by their famous "Kolobok" and "Teremok". They should set this rhythm not only with words, rhymes, but also with illustrations, in which not only the events taking place according to the plot, but also carefully detailed collections of those familiar things that are so significant to him (detailed household items, related to the kitchen, nursery, bathroom, vegetable garden, nearby forest, etc.).

But books are especially successful at an early age, such a comfortably rhythmically organized structure allows you to experience the impression of danger included in it (poems and fairy tales by K.I. Chukovsky). The child needs it. As mentioned above, the development of an affective stereotype consists not only of a detailed settling of the world, but of highlighting terrible, dangerous moments in it. Experiencing short moments of sharpness, adventure and obligatory victory over danger together with an adult, the baby receives some hardening, experience of resistance to fear. Already in infancy, an adult began to train him to overcome the physical barrier, now he trains him to overcome internal fears. This is all the more relevant because, as the unpleasant and frightening are fixed, a child around two years old may for the first time experience real fears (fear of dogs, depth, height, darkness, cars, fear of getting lost, doctors, etc.) and frightening dreams.

Nevertheless, in favorable conditions, despite the individual fears that every child experiences to a greater or lesser extent, the development of an individual life stereotype, the love and support of loved ones, their confirmation of his achievements, compliance with their expectations allows him to feel secure during this age period. , confidently and be quite active in independently learning new things, at this age, normally, the child already confidently and stably uses the first person pronoun. This is what allows him to approach a new stage of affective development, which is associated with a crisis of three years, characterized, as you know, primarily by the appearance of pronounced negativism.

This is a natural stage of development, in which there is again a temporary discord in his ability to coordinate his actions with loved ones. And again, it is connected, as we have seen, not with losses, but with the acquisition of new opportunities. Now he can independently set a goal, hold the intention for a sufficiently long time, resisting the momentary influence of the situation. This is exactly what he could not cope with at the age of one - and then his relatives helped him cope. Now he is trying to learn how to do it on his own and relatives, continuing to try to help him, unwittingly become an obstacle in developing a new skill. This is clear. Defending his goal, he begins to destroy the stereotype of living together that had been established by this time. In essence, he does not want to destroy it and he himself suffers from a violation of the usual course of life, is experiencing discord with his loved ones. However, he stubbornly strives to fulfill his plan.

You can not try to break the child in his, as it often seems, "senseless" stubbornness. We must patiently teach him to try to seek a compromise - the possibility of combining newly emerging intentions and the already established stereotype of interaction. Otherwise, the child will not be able to work out his individual mechanism of expansion: the possibility of independent choice, decision-making, following the goal, focusing on overcoming obstacles. Without these abilities, he will not be able to truly develop intellectually, enter into a creative dialogue with changing circumstances, and develop an adequate level of claims in relations with the world. In essence, such work provides for the first time the opportunity for relatives to enter into a detailed dialogue with the child. If this happens, the negativism does not become generalized and adults help the child get out of the crisis with new acquisitions. As already mentioned, it is at this age that the child receives a powerful impetus in intellectual development and speech development, begins to ask questions regarding cause-and-effect relationships, and a detailed plot game begins to develop.

Thus, we have traced the course of early affective development of the child. We tried to identify the main milestones that reflect the formation of the mechanisms for organizing his behavior, their maturation in interaction with loved ones, first as a form of common play, pleasure and gradual connection to “serious” work in regulating interaction with the world, drawing an increasingly independent and reasonable line of behavior.

We have seen that the development of the child in this case occurs unevenly, and its completely “normal” course includes rather difficult periods. So the development and improvement of differentiated mechanisms of adaptation to stable, regular living conditions - the development of an individual lifestyle, personal attachments at some stage necessarily turns into an increase in vulnerability and the emergence of fears associated with a violation of habitual ties. Therefore, there is a natural alternation in the development of ways to adapt to more stable situations and to changing, unexpected circumstances. The active connection of the latter leads in a year and in three years to the emergence of crises associated with a temporary loss of control by the child in interactions with loved ones. The way out of these crises, as already discussed, is associated with the introduction of these necessary individual mechanisms into the general semantic context of interaction.

The passage during the first years of a child's life by the stages of emotional development discussed above, which reflect the sequence of formation of the main mechanisms for organizing his interaction with the outside world, testifies to the well-being of his affective development. The delay in the formation of any of these mechanisms, the difficulty of including it in the developing system of emotional regulation of behavior, getting stuck at the stages of using them mainly for the purpose of autostimulation without further development into the necessary mode of adaptation leads to inevitable disturbances in emotional development of varying severity.

Early stages of emotional development

But now the baby is at home, his parents carefully and carefully look after him, they do everything according to the schedule, listen to the advice of doctors and elders, read books about the rules of care. Here are just books about the mental, emotional development of the baby they rarely come across. And why: if only he was dry, fed, slept well, did not cry.

Crying is bad, it should be avoided, it is a signal that it is necessary to change diapers, give a pacifier, etc. Do parents ever think that crying is not only a signal of inconvenience and discontent, but also a call for communication, this is the very first language of the child, form of manifestation of desire in understanding. Remember what you did when your baby started crying - did you take him in your arms and caress him, comfort him, or, following strict instructions, rush to change diapers, teach him to be independent in a separate bed so that he “does not get used to hands”? But bodily communication was understandable for the baby even when he was sitting in his tummy, and this is the closest form of relationship for him now with those around him - tactile, bodily contacts. And how much did you talk with the baby, reassure, say that you love and understand him in the first days, weeks, months of his life? It has been proven that babies react differently to the voice of mom, dad, grandmother, strangers, in total they distinguish up to 30 voice shades and intonations. Communicating with each other in a friendly, calm way, you do not scare the baby, do not create grounds for anxiety and fears. Rude conversations, discussion of their problems, showdown in front of the baby internally disturb him, strain him, hence the crying “for no apparent reason”, sleepless nights. Dysfunctional relationships between parents have always been, are and will be the cause of children's emotional problems.

Remember if you had this, and if “yes”, then this is another reason for your current misunderstanding of your child, this is an answer to bewilderment: “After all, we are doing everything for him, because everything is fine with us now.”