Why doesn't God give us a child. From the teachings of Elder Paisios of Athos

If the Lord God does not bless you for the birth of children, eradicate the sins presented in the list. Give yourself a chance to sort them out.

Christ does not want us to be sad.

And he gives children to those who deserve it, have suffered in moderation or worked out the karmic mistake of distant ancestors.

Let it be paganism, but we are talking about sinfulness.

Here is a short list for you to analyze, which will help you understand possible reasons God's disagreement with the birth of children.

one). Try to at least partially restore the genealogical tree-personal and husband.

In the event that the ancestors for the most part did not have children or decided on numerous abortions, beg forgiveness from God - and he will give you children.

2). How often do you swear?

It would seem a trifle, but “pot-bellied”.

Swearing and scolding, as well as fierce envy, are the most important sins that interfere with childbearing.

Eradicate them - and the Lord God will send you grace in the form of healthy children.

3). Sins associated with witchcraft and black magic.

Perhaps you once sinned with a love spell (of your own husband or beloved boyfriend).

For these sins, God not only opposes conception, but also terribly punishes with deep sorrow and illness.

A child cannot be born in a marriage that is held together by conspiracy fetters.

Go to church, repent of your sins - after a while you will nurse the child.

four). Sinful acts against other people's children.

Remember, maybe you offended an innocent child.

Tell Father about this, he confesses this sin.

5). If the Lord God does not give children, then it is time to take a step along the Orthodox road.

Since you are reading this article, it means you believe in Christ.

Involve yourself in Christian life, go to the Temple, pray, confess and repent.

When the suffering comes to an end, God will send you a son or daughter.

6). Donate what you can to orphanages.

the feast of the Virgin or what to do so that God gives children

Give charity to the poor.

7). Stop abusing alcohol.

As soon as you cope with this temptation, God will give you strong children.

eight). Think about your own life. Perhaps you are not yet ready for the birth of a child.

Therefore, the Lord does not give you consent.

9). Forgive those who offended, betrayed or insulted you.

By forgiving others, you become closer to God, getting rid of sinful revenge and rancor.

ten). Do good things to people unselfishly and sincerely.

This universal advice, perhaps, will become the most basic.

When you stop complaining, getting angry, chasing wealth, unleashing pleasures, God will give you happy children, taking fate under reliable protection.

The material was prepared by me - Edwin Vostryakovsky.

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From the point of view of the Orthodox Church, the absence of children in the family is not a tragedy. The goal of the Christian life - the salvation of the soul for Eternal life, does not essentially depend on the couple having offspring. Children are sent to us by God, according to His providence for our lives. Orthodoxy gives the answer why there is infertility.

Punishment or Providence?

Childlessness brings suffering to family life. Couples who really want to have children realize that their life lacks the fruit of love to which they can give themselves. When there is no child, spouses feel the inferiority of their marriage. Can this be considered a punishment or a disgrace to the family, as it was in the Old Testament times? The Orthodox Church says no.

We do not know the providence of God about us. You can see its effect after a while, looking back. Then the person realizes that what seemed to be misfortune and punishment had a different purpose. In such an incomprehensible way, God's Providence leads us through trials - and through this shows Divine care and love.

Not everyone is able to accept the action of Providence for us, not everyone can put up with it. But if a person understands that God is Love, then any sorrow can be accepted, and barrenness is no exception. It can be understood as a cross, as an indication of the direction of love in another direction, for example: caring for orphans, adoption.

How to deal with infertility?

Humility is the acceptance of the will of God in relation to human life, no matter how cruel it may seem. How a couple come to terms with infertility, Orthodoxy gives a clear answer. The absence of offspring is a real test for relationships, a test of love. When a common misfortune unites, it can unite, help to be more sensitive, become closer, and maybe move away from each other.

The Church speaks of infertility - this is not a sentence, you need to pray and wait. Christ said, "Ask and it will be given to you."

Why doesn't God give children? Shepherd's answer

Many righteous people were born after long prayers already from elderly parents. The stories of Abraham and Sarah, Zechariah and Elizabeth, Joachim and Anna are inspiring couples today with their example of patience and humility.

The will of God is not revealed quickly. If the spouses pray diligently, make every effort, consult with the priest, God will let them know whether they should expect a miracle, undergo treatment, or adopt a baby.

Families that ask the Lord for a child and cannot conceive for a long time are gradually filled with disappointment and bitterness, the question “Why does the Lord not give children to a woman?” How to accept and understand the providence of God? Is it possible to find strength after constant failures to trust Him further? Is there a way out of this situation?

Possible reasons

Why does the Lord not give a child to a woman? No one really knows the answer, and there is no single right answer to this complex, dreary question. Everything is in the hands of the Lord and His Will is not ours, therefore all answers are hidden from Him, but not always a person should furiously seek them.

What are the possible causes of infertility in women? Without taking into account medical indications, you can make a small list:

As a test of faith and patience, some families could not come to terms with the absence of children for a long time, but exactly when their souls were filled with complete humility before the Lord and acceptance of His will, He sent them a baby.
For churching - some women who are given infertility are looking for solutions in the church, thereby saving their own and their husband's soul. There is a lot of evidence of how people who became churched and became true Orthodox soon became parents.
The consequence of an abortion - murder (namely, this is what abortion is) is strictly punished by the Lord and often women who have committed infertility orders. Children must be accepted when the Lord sends them, and not when a person has decided;
The consequence of the sinful youth of the parents - promiscuity, adultery, some types of contraception have a detrimental effect on the reproductive abilities of a woman. Such people should first of all repent before the Lord and only then pray to Him for mercy and offspring.

Each case is individual, in any case, a woman (and her husband, of course) should think about why the Lord does not send them offspring.

Perhaps you need to repent of something, maybe you need to confess a secret sin, or maybe you need to do your part - to be examined by a doctor and solve problems, if any.

The ways of the Lord are inscrutable and sometimes He does not give native children so that the family would serve someone's abandoned child and adopt him. And the Lord does not allow someone to have children at all because of selfishness and selfishness.

Everyone must find their own answer.

Church and modern ways of dealing with infertility

Modern technologies allow even women who could not get pregnant for many years to finally become a mother. What does the Church say about the use of these methods?

To begin with, it should be clarified that all medicines that help restore the reproductive function of the body are allowed and welcomed by the Church as a safe way to improve health and fulfill the human part. Therefore, the following methods are allowed:

medical examinations;
the use of hormonal drugs;
tracking menstrual cycles;
the use of appropriate medications.

But here are banned by the Bishops' Council of 2000:

in vitro fertilization;
surrogacy.

Why is IVF prohibited? Because this is a gross intrusion into the sacrament of conception and the incidental murder of children. The decision of the Council forbade the use of all varieties of this procedure by Orthodox believers.

Eco is performed as follows: superovulation is stimulated, which makes it possible to obtain a large number of eggs, the best of them are selected and fertilized with the husband's seed. Then the fertilized cells are placed in a special incubator where they mature, so that they can then be partially transplanted into the uterus and partially frozen.

Priests Answers

Many priests agree in one opinion - that it is necessary to accept God's providence with humility.

For example, Elder Paisius Svyatogorets said that God sometimes delays on purpose in order to further fulfill His plan of saving people. This can be seen in many stories in the Bible - Abraham and Sarah, Joachim and Elizabeth, St. Anna, Elizabeth and Zechariah. The birth of children depends primarily on God, but also on man. And it is necessary to do everything possible so that God gives the child, but if He hesitates, there is a reason for this and it must be accepted.

We must pray and do not despair! Abbot Luke expresses a kind of revolutionary idea that in the case of a childless union, it is not necessary to do something.

Why God does not give children, for what sins.

The main thing in our life is finding salvation and only then the joy of marriage and motherhood. So some God is predestined to be a bachelor, so some are predestined to serve the Lord, and not have children.

Archpriest Pavel Gumerov advises infertile couples not to despair, but to wait patiently. He advises to undergo a medical examination, solve all problems in human ways, simultaneously praying to the righteous Joachim and Anna, Peter and Fevronia, and also making pilgrimage trips to holy places. He says that the long absence of children is a test of their feelings.

Priest Valery Dukhanin advises not to strive to comprehend all the secrets of Divine care for people. Children are God's gift, which is given according to His will and Providence. They must be accepted with humility. He gives some examples that show that sometimes God closes a woman's womb for the good of spouses and one must be able to accept this good.

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A huge number of women and their husbands are concerned that they can not get pregnant. Or there were pregnancies, but it was not possible to bear the child. In general, the couple suffers from childlessness.

Here we do not consider the medical aspect of the problem, we are talking only about the spiritual and psychological. Why can't you get pregnant? What to do at this level to become ready for the birth of a child? Can it help? Can a family be complete and happy without children?

training family relations: remote (online) course "40 steps to family happiness."

Why does pregnancy not occur?

Tatyana Sushkova, Candidate of Medical Sciences

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What if God does not give children?

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Why doesn't God give children?

Childlessness: Punishment or Providence?

Large families and childlessness are gifts of God

As for having many children, having few children, or even childlessness (infertility), this is in the power of God. He gives to each according to his ability (Matt. 9:15), many or few children, or none.

Childbearing is also a talent, that is, a gift from God. But the Creator did not give all people the same number of talents. One gave five, the other two, and someone one. God gave Abraham one child. Isaac - two. Jacob is twelve. Leah, for example, He gave ten children, and Rachel two. And for some, none. How many talents - children - God will give spouses, He decides. But if parents decide not to accept their child, or to avoid children altogether, or to increase their number in the absence of a humble and honest married life, then God will not reward them, but will punish them.

Other spouses may have one child after another. But if they do not show diligence in their upbringing, in the teaching and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4), they will not deserve praise.

AT recent times There are more and more childless families. Why? Priest Maxim Brusov, rector of the Trinity Cathedral in the city of Yakhroma, Moscow Region, answers this question.

Father, do you have children?

Three. Bye. Two boys and a girl.

Now more and more families where they want, but cannot become parents. What do you advise them?

First, don't lose hope. Secondly, do not sit back, act.

How to act?

It is clear that first of all it is necessary to understand the medical aspect of the problem, while not forgetting the spiritual side. There can be many reasons for the childlessness of spouses - both medical and moral. It often happens that the reason is the "mistake of youth" - an abortion, which, like a barrier, blocks a woman's path to motherhood.

In the human body, everything is interconnected: both bodily health and spiritual.

If the Lord God does not bless you for the birth of children, eradicate the sins presented in the list. Give yourself a chance to sort them out.

Christ does not want us to be sad. And he gives children to those who deserve it, have suffered in moderation or worked out the karmic mistake of distant ancestors. Let it be paganism, but we are talking about sinfulness.

Here is a small list for you to analyze, which will help you understand the possible reasons for God's disagreement with the birth of children.

one). Try to at least partially restore the genealogical tree-personal and husband.

In the event that the ancestors for the most part did not have children or decided on numerous abortions, beg forgiveness from God - and he will give you children.

2). How often do you swear? It would seem a trifle, but “pot-bellied”.

Swearing and scolding, as well as fierce envy, are the most important sins that interfere with childbearing.

Unfortunately, many couples are childless all their lives, or the first child appears after many years. But here's the paradox: many women get pregnant out of wedlock. It would seem, the irony of fate? No. It has its own nuances that man does not know about, but God knows. And he gives people only what is useful to them.

Let's discuss the topic of why God does not give a child, give examples of childless couples, consider briefly the sermons of the holy fathers, priests.

About Saints Joachim and Anna

Within the church walls, many couples ask the priest: “God does not give us children. Why?" Only a perspicacious elder, a holy man, can clearly answer this question. And what will the ordinary priest say? If the priest is the spiritual mentor of a married couple, knows that the wife did not have an abortion, the husband did not live with other women before meeting his wife, both led and are leading a pious lifestyle, he probably only tells the story of Saints Joachim and Anna as a consolation. We often hear from childless couples that God does not give them children.

“Where is the God who does not give children?” I ask again and again.

God is inside! And so you can safely reformulate your words, while taking full responsibility for yourself.

So why don't you have kids?

Because we need it.

- I'm not worthy.

- I'm not ready yet, not yet.

- I don't want.

And now the problem from a number of insoluble (well, how can we influence the will of God!), Becomes solvable. You can already deal with your beliefs and unconscious desires.

All obstacles inside. And they are all allowed. If you want it. Both consciously and subconsciously.

home acting force The universe is the power of intention. She can EVERYTHING!

Childlessness is a cross and a mystery

The words of the apostle that a woman "will be saved through childbearing" (1 Tim. 2:15) become an indisputable axiom for many. Often, we look at childless families, if not as inferior, then certainly with sympathy, compassion and hidden pity. Our conversation with the rector of the church of the Pochaev Icon of the Mother of God, Archpriest Sergiy Pavlov, was devoted to the problems of childless families.

- Father Sergius, is it possible to say that childlessness is a cross?

Everything that happens in our life is a cross. First of all, the cross is what saves a person. And a person, as we know, is saved by some kind of work, and sorrows, and hardships ... That is, the cross in this case can be perceived by someone as something negative. Although it is not. We know that there is a Providence of God and that the Lord leads a person only in the ways known to Him.

Today is a big holiday for the girl: the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin, i.e. the day she died.

Here is a little story and advice for all those who want to (I combined the experience of everyone who had a pregnancy in a miraculous way), how to get the fulfillment of their most ardent desire: the appearance of a healthy and happy baby.

After Jesus Christ ascended to heaven, the Virgin Mary prayed a lot so that he would quickly take her to him. At the same time, she continued to help all people. And then the Archangel Gabriel appeared and told Her that in 3 days she would die.

Before dying, the Virgin Mary really wanted to look at all the companions of Jesus, the beloved apostles. But they were scattered all over the world. But in a completely miraculous way, an angel gathered them with the news that the Mother of God would soon die.

With a joyful smile and fervent prayer on her lips, the Mother of God died.

Maya Vlasova is nine years old, she has Asperger's syndrome - high-functioning autism. But if you see this not as a problem, but as new horizons, then the life of a family with special child will not be painful, but creative.

A tree is not only an oak, a poet is not only Pushkin

We are all used to living according to a well-thought-out scenario, but if there is a child with special needs in the family, then you have to think, as the British say, “getting out of the box”, that is, a tree is not only an oak, a poet is not only Pushkin, there are other trees and other poets . There is, for example, Euclid's geometry, and there is Lobachevsky's, which is more complicated and with tricks.

Life with a special child is a special family development curve, it is impossible to determine and program it in advance. Naturally, everywhere there are difficulties, but over time it becomes clear how to interact with all this, and slowly even the most difficult obstacles turn into a regular routine.

Why doesn't God give children to those who really deserve it? Despite the development of medical technologies and improving the quality of life, this issue is still relevant. Usually people believe that if they are close to the Lord, they can count on the basic joys of life, such as health, a happy marriage, the birth of children, an abundance of water and food, and the absence of housing problems. But when serious troubles appear in our lives, for example, cancer, job loss or infertility, it seems that we have been undeservedly offended and cheated.

Yes, it's really dishonest and unfair. It is impossible to find any logical explanation for the fact that immature and stupid teenagers often manage to get pregnant without problems, while mature and wealthy couples do not. There is no justice in the fact that millions of women around the world get rid of offspring through abortion, and many of those who really want to have children fail.

Spiritual Causes of Infertility

An article from the Orthodox women's magazine "Slavyanka"

The believer is not the one who thinks that everything is possible with God, but who believes that he will receive everything that he asks from God. Faith also receives what it does not dare to hope for, as the example of the prudent thief on the cross showed.

WHAT IS INFERTILITY

Infertility is the inability of a woman of childbearing age to conceive, and men - to fertilization. According to the World Health Organization, infertility in modern world- the problem of every fifth married couple. In 40% of cases, the "guilty" side is a woman, in another 45% - a man, the remaining 15% are cases of "incompatibility" of spouses.

Infertility is not an independent disease. Rather, it is a consequence of certain deviations in the development of the body or past diseases: congenital underdevelopment or malformations of the genital organs.

Why are children dying?

Why do children, newborns, etc. die / become terminally ill? Why does the Lord give them life, and then take them to himself? Why does the Lord take away young mothers and fathers who have children on Earth? Why does the Lord give children to mothers who throw them in the trash as newborns or somehow get rid of them. And for those parents who want with all their hearts, treats the body of the kids and does not give it?

Indeed, God is both good and omnipotent. All the evil in the world is created not by Him, but by us. Almighty God could make us walk on the line, but then it would not be people, but biorobots. After all, we do not make mindless executors of our will out of our children, but on the contrary, we try to develop them for an independent life.

Good question. She wanted to ask him. The Lord gives children, but people do abortions. Infanticide is done by people, women, doctors. It is people who allow murder, not God. God gives a child because he knows that it is time for a woman to become a mother. But she does not realize this and goes to this crime. Abortion was invented by doctors. People do not live according to the commandments of God. Yes, it's terrible. But, unfortunately, society does not realize this.

This happens because God created man equal to himself and endowed him with free will. He cannot interfere with what a person is doing, and a person often does not think about it at all.

It seems to me that you slightly overestimate the influence of external forces on the life of society. People can do bad or good, and the fact that there are people in the world who do disgusting things is just a reality.

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Shepherds Answers

When marrying and getting married, young people dream and hope that the Lord will bless their family with children. But years pass, five, ten years ... and the long-awaited pregnancy does not occur. How to be in such a situation? What to do? It is clear that, first of all, to pray for children, but is it necessary to do something else, is it necessary to turn to modern medicine for help? And are all medical technologies that have recently become very popular, such as in vitro fertilization (IVF), acceptable to the Orthodox? The pastors of the Russian Church answer.

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The main thing for a Christian is a righteous life

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We are not told that in the case of a childless union, it is necessary to “do something”. Being a natural consequence of the carnal intimacy of spouses, children bring cares and joys, plans and disappointments, sacrificial service and comforts of mutual love into their lives. However, the main cause of our life - the acquisition of eternal salvation - does not significantly depend on the presence or absence of children, which means that, with all human dispositions for their birth, the main feeling should remain trust in the Providence of God, in charge of all our earthly things that do not depend on us. circumstances.

Many holy people were not born immediately and from elderly parents. In this case, they begged from God and were literally prayed-for children; at the same time, the passion of youth was not transmitted to those born from elderly parents.

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Artificial insemination technologies - a gross intrusion into the sacrament of childbirth

If God does not give a family children, one must hope, do not despair, wait patiently. Today, many people are not very healthy, and therefore it happens that even after several years of marriage there are no children. We must pray and fast. Pray to the righteous Joachim and Anna, Peter and Fevronia. Make pilgrimage trips - to Athos or to other places.

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The long absence of children from spouses is a test

The long absence of children from spouses is a test of their feelings, a test of how much they love each other, because when everything is easy for a person, everything is given to him for free, he does not appreciate it too much. And when people are connected by some kind of joint misfortune, they become closer to each other, they begin to love each other especially sensitively, having overcome this misfortune.

As for IVF, which is marketed as a fertility treatment. Artificial insemination is a gross intrusion into the mystery of conception, into the mystery of procreation. And we know that the Council of Bishops of 2000 forbade Orthodox Christians to resort to this technology, although some slyly see in this prohibition an opportunity to resort to some variants of artificial conception. But the decisions of the Council clearly state that from the Orthodox point of view, all varieties of in vitro fertilization, involving the preparation, preservation and subsequent destruction of embryos, are unacceptable. With artificial insemination, the destruction of embryos always occurs - that is, they are killed.

Let me briefly remind you what the essence of this technology is. Superovulation is stimulated in a woman in order to receive a large number of eggs at once, sometimes even up to 20; the best of them are selected, fertilized with the husband's seed and placed in a special incubator for several days. Then some (always several) are transplanted into the uterus, others are frozen, they can later be used by the same married couple, and others. Such is the conveyor for the production of children. And a lot of money is spinning here: one IVF attempt with all related procedures costs at least 150 thousand rubles in Moscow. And, for example, people came to me who made 10-15 attempts. And to no avail. Because IVF does not give a 100% result! This is a business on human grief, not infertility treatment.

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With artificial insemination, the destruction of embryos always occurs - that is, they are killed

Now let's ask ourselves a question: what happens if all the embryos transplanted into the uterus began to develop? After all, several of them are introduced at once, so that there is a greater likelihood of their taking root, because not all take root ... What happens when several take root? "Superfluous" embryos are reduced, that is, they are surgically removed - abortions are performed. So, during IVF, fertilized embryos are destroyed, which are already babies with a soul. And it turns out that a person who goes for IVF goes for abortions.

There is such a crafty trick: in some medical centers they offer "IVF for believers." It is proposed not to implant a few embryos, and then remove some of them, but to do a sparing superovulation, get a small number of embryos and implant them. But this does not change the essence of the matter.

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A person going for IVF is essentially going for an abortion.

IVF technology is completely godless. A person takes on the function of the Lord God, intervenes in what should mysteriously happen in the mother's body.

Another question: why should fertilized embryos develop in an incubator for several days? Here's why. To find out if there are any pathologies, mainly genetic. And there is an order signed by the Minister of Health, according to which, in case of a danger of developing pathologies, the embryo should not be transplanted. Such an embryo is killed.

I'm not talking about the fact that with IVF there are much more miscarriages, much more missed pregnancies. And many more premature babies are born.

Unfortunately, there are very few statistical studies on the health of children born through IVF. Why? Because it's a business, a corporate conspiracy. Data is available, but not disclosed. But something is becoming known. So, academician Altukhov, a famous geneticist, an Orthodox person, testifies: almost 20% of IVF children have mental pathologies.

Another problem: in nature, when an egg enters the mother's uterus, it is met by a million spermatozoa, but only one is attached - the most "strong", so to speak. But IVF can be done even with a very weak seed of the husband. And if the seed material is not very good quality what will the children be like?

So the Orthodox way is this: pray, wait. And if the Lord does not send a child, do what has been done for centuries in Russia and in other countries - to take an orphan child or from an orphanage to raise.

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We must accept God's Providence

There are secrets of Divine care for people, they are incomprehensible. When Rachel, the wife of the patriarch Jacob, who did not have offspring, reproached her husband: “Give me children, and if not, I die,” Jacob replied: “Am I the God who did not give you the fruit of the womb?” (Gen. 30:1-2).

The child is God's gift. And if the Lord does not give children, then there is His Providence, which must be accepted, and not fall into despair or think that life is over. The Monk Paisios the Holy Mountaineer drew attention to this. He knew examples when some tried to acquire children either by artificial insemination or by adopting other people's children, but later they themselves became convinced that God did not give them a child, caring about their own good.

It is important not to lose your head, not to rush in panic for any means to get a child at all costs, but to try to listen to the Providence of God.

If the Lord does not give children, then first of all we must turn to Him. Often children were served after fervent prayers, fasting and alms. The Lord is testing parents, whether they are ready to accept a child precisely as a gift from God, and not as a product of the latest medical technologies.

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Among Russian women unable to conceive, 70% suffered from abortion

Of course, there are many shades in the topic raised. Sometimes childlessness is the result of the sins of the youth of the parents. One of the statistics says that among Russian women who do not have the opportunity to conceive a child, 70% suffered from an abortion. Certain types of contraception also have a detrimental effect on childbearing. In such cases, the person himself deprived himself of the opportunity to give birth to children. It turns out such an absurdity - at first a person does everything possible so that he does not have children, and then he is ready to turn to anything, for example, surrogate motherhood, just to get a child. Such people need, first of all, repentance, to remove from themselves the sinful causes of infertility, and then, as the Lord gives.

There is a different situation: the spouses tried to live according to the commandments of God, but for health reasons they cannot conceive. In such situations, one must, of course, be treated, try possible natural remedies, but entrust the final result into the hands of God.

In general, each case is individual. From a little pastoral practice, I can say that a confessor often sees that it is more useful for such a particular person to be alone than to have a child, but for another it would be better to have babies and dissolve completely in sacrificial care for them. Someone cannot take a child from an orphanage in any way, because they lack patience and elementary affection and love. And for someone, an adopted someone else's child becomes so dear that God's blessing overshadows such a family and home comfort reigns in it. I even observed situations when women who did not have a family took children from an orphanage, and not one, but two at once - a brother and a sister, and these women became wonderful mothers. Of course, the absence of a father affects, but these children have a mother, and this is already joy and happiness.

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A story from the life of Evgenia

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Eugenia learned that there are cases when, after a long period of infertility, someone received healing in a miraculous way in the temple. So she came to the idea that only God gives children. Through her infertility, Eugenia came to faith, and her husband was also baptized. She herself confessed and took communion. I read penitential canons, prayers for children.

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Somehow she found out about the Borovsky Monastery, which has a font, and many said that if you take a dip there, then illnesses disappear. When she and her husband made the pilgrimage and managed to take a dip, two weeks later she already had a positive pregnancy test. Before that, I could not get pregnant for five years! And after the holy spring she had a dream: she is carrying a basket in which lies a child; she asks, "What's your name?" - he answered: "Daniel". And she was told during examinations and ultrasound that she would have a girl. But a boy was born, and he was named Daniel.

When Daniel already went to Kindergarten, she once became ill, bleeding opened. It turned out that she was pregnant, but there was a miscarriage. The doctors talked about the complication and the need for some kind of operation, they said that now she would definitely never give birth, except through IVF.

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Evgenia went to her confessor, who, having prayed, said: “I think that it is not necessary to have an operation, but I bless you for a daughter.” Exactly one month later, she became pregnant - the doctors were shocked. Indeed, a daughter was born, and they named her Anastasia. Evgenia herself firmly understood that children are from God, which means that God should be addressed first of all.

In general, any deed is truly good only when it is in harmony with the will of God. And the will of God is not determined as quickly as we would like. If the spouses diligently turn to the Lord in their prayers, coordinate their desires with the spiritual father, the will of God will nevertheless be revealed to them, and then it will be clear what is right for them: to expect miraculous grace-filled help, undergo treatment, or take a child from an orphanage into the family .

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You can’t be guided by emotions alone, you need prudence and prudence

Of course, the absence of children in the family is an occasion to more seriously and soberly begin to lead one's Christian life and pray purely for the gift of children. Here patience needs to be shown no small amount, and it happens that the Lord rewards for this patience and constancy in doing good, so that children will be born in the family even after three, five or more years of “barrenness”. This is a great joy and a great mercy! And parents who conceived and gave birth to a child in such difficult circumstances truly know the high price and meaning of fatherhood and motherhood. If only they would not “stop there” and turn their valuable child into some kind of idol, an idol around which the whole world revolves. This should not be, and it can even be called a crime against God, because the Lord gives a child not at all in order to be raised from him as an egoist who is used to thinking that he is the navel of the earth and something completely special compared to “everyone else.” ". That is why it would be good if there were many children in the family ...

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With reasoning, you can resort to medical help

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It seems that, firstly, everything should be done with reason and spiritually, that is, with prayer and advice from the family confessor, again because people are different and circumstances are different.

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Someone, perhaps, needs to show extreme humility with patience (their faith allows them to do just that), for someone it will be right and good to go to doctors, undergo an examination and resort to their help with reason, because the Lord also created doctors and this profession exists for our benefit, it is not a sin to resort to the help of doctors. But this is precisely where reasoning is needed, because we know that some modern methods"reproducing" is contrary to God's commandments. So here you have to be careful not to cross the line of what is permitted.

And for some families, in accordance with their location and amenities, maybe adoption path opens those unfortunate children who are deprived of paternal and maternal warmth and care. And we know families where there are not one, but several such adopted children, and they, together with their adoptive parents, make up a real big family. This, of course, is the work of God, blessed, but here, too, prudence and prudence are needed so as not to be guided by emotions alone, often transient, remembering that the decision to adopt is a great responsibility, so that “stepping back” will then be akin to the sin of betrayal. May the Lord keep it from this! Therefore, here, too, you need to consult with your confessor, pray hard and soberly assess your strengths and capabilities.

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Do everything only with the help and blessing of God

- "Put on the whole armor of God" (Eph. 6:11), - the Apostle Paul tells us. Hope and wait patiently, pray and fast (but only with the blessing of the priest). And, of course, you can take a child from an orphanage. “And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me” (Matt. 18:5), the Lord tells us. But artificial insemination is not worth doing, because it is contrary to nature. The Lord gave us another, natural way to conceive and give birth to children, the one that is best suited for us.

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No need to speed things up

And yet it is not necessary to speed up events by doing artificial insemination, because this is an interference with Divine Providence. After all, everything good, and, of course, children, is given to us by God. And gives us everything in good time. That is, when you need it, when it's best. We, due to our sinfulness and self-will, often do not want to understand and accept this. And so in a hurry we try to do what the Lord does. And we always do incomparably worse than God. After all, our Heavenly Father is holy and infallible, but we are weak, blind and sinful.

Therefore, you don’t have to do anything yourself, but only with the help and blessing of God, which are most often and mainly taught in the Church, including through the clergy.

The prophet Abraham and Sarah also did not have children for a long time, and God gave them a son - the righteous prophet Isaac. And at an age when it is already physiologically impossible to have children. Also, the righteous Godfather Joachim and Anna were born Holy Mother of God- “The most honest Cherubim and the most glorious Seraphim without comparison,” as the Holy Church sings to Her. And the righteous Zechariah and Elizabeth were born John the Baptist. “Truly I say to you: of those born of women, no greater than John the Baptist has risen” (Matt. 11:11), the Lord tells us. And all because they lived all their lives according to the will of God, they always put the holy will of God above their human will and their human desires.

And we should strive to do the same. And then future saints will be born among us, and we will live in holiness and see many miracles from the Lord. And we will see the main miracle - that God is infinite, all-perfect, merciful, crucifying Himself and saving us Love. Leading us to eternal and endless joy in the Kingdom of Heaven with all the saints who have pleased God from time immemorial. Amen.

If the Lord does not give children, of course, it is necessary to turn to Him with fervent prayer. And the Church knows many examples when, in response to prayers, God gave a blessing and a child was conceived.

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If there are no children in the marriage and the marriage is unmarried, it is necessary to get married

It will not be superfluous, as experience shows, and a pilgrimage trip to one of the saints of God. But just so that it doesn’t happen like this: “We’ll go to Matronushka, pray, and when the baby is born, we’ll forget the way to the temple.” Here, too, there is temptation. If we turn to the Lord, then the prayer should look something like this: “Lord, give a child by Your mercy, and we will devote our lives to You, and we will raise the child in Orthodoxy.” And if people's thinking is built in this way, the Lord, of course, will give His grace.

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Other spouses may have one child after another. But if they do not show diligence in their upbringing, in the teaching and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4), they will not deserve praise.

Spouses must fulfill their duty to bear children honestly. And the Lord will give as much as He wants and take as He wants. In this matter, no interference of spouses in the work of God is allowed. No planning for the number of children using a calendar, contraceptives or other methods!

Now the Lord gives many few children, Himself uses birth control. "Why are we, doing the same thing, guilty?" some will ask. But the disputants do not think about the following. It is illogical and completely unthinkable if someone wiser than us adjusted some mechanism, and we, inexperienced, for some reason correct this adjustment in our own way. Every human regulation is from the evil one. It speaks of self-importance and brazen interference in the rights of the Lord. This disrupts the connection and communication with the Creator and has disastrous consequences. After all, God cannot be mocked. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Heb. 10:31).

The fulfillment of the Christian family is the second idea of marriage. Without a family, there is no fullness of life in marriage, even if the spouses are filled with unanimity and mutual love. To complete the meaning of the happiness of marriage, children are needed on whom spouses can focus their love and their cares. And it is not in vain that some of the Fathers of the Church in the words of Jesus Christ: where two ormpoegathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them(Matthew 18:20) see the blessing of the family. Christians should not avoid having children. In the birth of children, one cannot see only a physiological and worldly burden. A child is a gift of God, a great mystery of God, the beginning of a new life, a great joy, which is why it is said in the Gospel: wife whengives birth, endures sorrow, because her hour has come; butwhen she gives birth to a baby, she no longer remembers sorrow for joy,for man was born into the world(John 16:21). There is no more heinous, more heinous crime than the murder of one's own infant before it is born. For such a murder, the church determines a 20-year excommunication from St. Communions. In our time, such crimes have become commonplace and are justified by the difficulties of existence, but these words contain slander against the poor: it is not the poor who predominantly commit these crimes, but wealthy people.

The poor usually resignedly bear the hardships of many children, but at the same time they also experience its joys. The rich, avoiding the difficulties of many children, do not see the joys of the family. Childbearing is the will of God, the law of nature, clearly established in both the Old and New Testaments. Even before the fall of the first people, God blessed childbearing. The book of Genesis says: And God created man in his own image, in the image ofGod created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them and God said to them: be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it (Gen. 1:27-28).

Some mistakenly think that the sin of the first people consisted in their physical rapprochement. There could be no sin in this, for that is how they were created. Sin lies not in physical rapprochement, but in its perverted manifestations. But the first people did not sin by this, but by betraying God. Even if people did not sin, they would have offspring, only they would have offspring free from sin.

In reality, children began to be born to people only after their fall into sin, and therefore they were born infected with sin (Genesis 4:1). Despite this, God global flood again blessed childbearing, through which salvation was to come: And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them:be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth(Gen. 9:1). And God repeated the same blessing to Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and other Old Testament righteous people. David in Psalm 127 speaks of the blessedness of childbearing: blessedfearing the Lord, walking in His way. Blessedecu, and goodyou will. Your wife is like a fruitful vine, in countriesyour house; your sons, like a new planting of olives,around your meal. Behold taco be blessed man,fear the Lord.

In the New Testament, the Lord Jesus Christ was angry with the disciples who forbade bringing to him babies, and blessedchildren (Luke 18:15). an. Paul Convinces Young Wives to love husbands, to love children, ... to be guardians of the house, kind, obedient to their husbands (Tit. 2, 4—5). AT Elsewhere he writes: I wish young widows to marry, have children, rule the house. (1 Tim. 5:14). Speaking of the fact that the wife, seduced, was the first to fall into a crime, an. Paul continues: However, he will be saved through childbearing, if he continues in faith and love, and in holiness with chastity (1 Tim. 2:15).

How to understand the words that a woman is saved by childbearing?

A woman is saved not just by childbearing, but by loving children, sacrificial love, when she does not seek her own in love, but raises her child for God, with God and in God. Love of children always begins with love of God. Therefore, these apostolic words should not be understood only as salvation by the number of children born. You can have many children and not take care of them.

The Orthodox family is saved through childbearing, since the more children, the more opportunities to show love and care.

Why don't all families have children? And often not in those families where they would like to have them and could bring them up well?

Sometimes spouses themselves do not want to have children, and sometimes God does not give them. The unwillingness to have children is a distortion of the meaning of marriage, which lies in childbearing. The family is formed in order to be born new life. Why doesn't the Lord give children? Maybe the previous life was not very pious, or it happens that the Lord gave children, and the parents themselves refused at one time.

From the Holy Scriptures we know examples of fruitless marital unions. Childlessness was perceived in former times as a punishment for the sins of parents, and parents were very worried and prayed all their lives for the gift of children. Joachim and Anna, Elizabeth and Zechariah... And we see that at the end of their lives, when according to all physiological laws they could not have children, the Lord gave them a child after they made a vow to dedicate the child to God. The birth of children is a moment of man's mysterious relationship with God, a humble moment. If the Lord gives children, you need to rejoice, if not, you need to pray to God, humble yourself, endure.

Is it possible to dissolve a childless marriage, considering it graceless?

Holy Bible says that for this reason marriages were not annulled; spouses humbled themselves, endured, carried their cross.

Above, we have listed the reasons for the dissolution of marriage, among them childlessness is not indicated.

Can infertility be treated?

The Lord helps through people and circumstances. Doctors are specialists who can fulfill the will of God to heal people. There is no ban on going to doctors, but artificial insemination is not blessed.

From the teachings of Elder Paisios of Athos

Multiplicity and Providence of God

The elder said more than once that some parents aim to have young children and God, of course, allows them, because he respects the autocratic will of a person, and also because sometimes he “cannot stand” our grumbling and leaves to be according to our will. But then parents with many children face a lot of problems: overestimating their strength, they gave birth, for example, to eight, and as a result they cannot cope with the many troubles associated with raising so many children.

The elder said that God Himself determines the number of children in a family: as soon as He sees that parents cannot raise another child, He immediately stops the birth of children.

And for those who seek by compulsion to acquire children, the elder advised to leave this to God, for He Himself knows the right time. Some, even being spiritually unsettled, "put pressure" on God to give them a child at the moment when they desire it. God, out of His love, will give them a child, but they will soon see that the child, growing up, becomes nervous, for he inherited the passions of his parents, and they themselves enter into a new, even greater anxiety, because they have acquired a child - without his fault - an heir their passions, from which they did not take care to be cleansed, before with an effort to ask a child from God.

So, the elder believed that spouses should completely surrender into the hands of God and not interfere with His will. Let the spouses leave God to act according to His will, for in this way His grace, His blessing, will dwell in their souls and cover their family.

The spiritual meaning of childlessness

For many people, God did not give children on purpose, so that, as a result, they would love the children of the whole world as their own. God deprived them of a small family, but gave them the right, which gives only a few, to belong to the great family of Christ.

The elder also reminded of the righteous Joachim and Anna, who remained childless until old age, which at that time was considered a great evil, and the people insulted them. God, however, knew that the Mother of God would be born from them, Who, in turn, would give birth to the Savior of all people, our Lord Jesus Christ!

Only the Lord God has the right to "plan" a family

The elder always emphasized that one must have absolute trust in the Providence of God and, so to speak, not plan for children, for God gives children. And He alone knows how many children to give - He alone, and no one else. Some, however, decide, because life has become difficult, to have only one child, so they are protected. However, this is a great sin, because these Christians show that they themselves arrange their affairs better than God.

Being proud, they underestimate the Providence of God. But God sees state of mind, and the economic situation of such Christians, sees many other things that we do not see and do not know. And if the family is poor, and it barely has enough money to support one child, then the One Who Knows Everything can take care of the economic strengthening of the family. To those who are trying to acquire children either by artificial insemination or by adopting other people's children, the elder explained that God deprived them of their children, of course, for their own good. And they should not achieve what they want in their human ways, because later they will be convinced that God did not give them a child, caring for their good. And we must well remember that only that deed is good, which is consistent with the will of God, and not with our stubbornness and with our human inclinations.

There shouldn't be selfishness

Many lay people do not create families, and if they do, they do not have children. Thus, they themselves ruin their kind. A monk must neglect himself - and his life in general - and give himself entirely to others. But the owner of the family cannot act like this, because he has a spouse and children and is primarily obliged, according to the Law of God, to take care of them, and only an excess can "save" for others.

When prayers are answered

Some spouses lived in great grief: many years have passed since the wedding day, but they still had no children. The doctors admitted that they could not help them. Then the couple decided to turn to the elder.

The elder consoled them:

Dont be upset! Go to confession (and they haven't confessed for years), take communion when your confessor tells you, and God will give you children. Pray you too, I will pray too.

The good spouses did what the elder advised them to do, and God immediately gave them children, according to the promise of the elder.

Today this is a very good family, joyful and happy, and the spouses thank the elder doubly: for helping them to come through Church Sacraments to Christ, and for the fact that they had a chance to taste His generous gifts.

The main thing for a Christian is a righteous life

We are not told that in the case of a childless union, it is necessary to “do something”. Being a natural consequence of the carnal intimacy of spouses, they bring cares and joys, plans and disappointments, sacrificial service and comforts of mutual love into their lives. However, the main cause of our life - the acquisition of eternal salvation - does not significantly depend on the presence or absence of children, which means that, with all human dispositions for their birth, the main feeling should remain trust in the Providence of God, in charge of all our earthly things that do not depend on us. circumstances.

Artificial insemination technologies - a gross intrusion into the sacrament of childbirth

The long absence of children from the spouses is a test of their feelings, a test of how much they love each other

Let me briefly remind you what the essence of this technology is. Superovulation is stimulated in a woman in order to receive a large number of eggs at once, sometimes even up to 20; the best of them are selected, fertilized with the husband's seed and placed in a special incubator for several days. Then some (always several) are transplanted into the uterus, others are frozen, they can later be used by the same married couple, and others. Such is the conveyor for the production of children. And a lot of money is spinning here: one attempt with all the accompanying procedures costs at least 150 thousand rubles in Moscow. And, for example, people came to me who made 10-15 attempts. And to no avail. Because IVF does not give a 100% result! This is a business on human grief, not infertility treatment.

With artificial insemination, the destruction of embryos always occurs - that is, they are killed

A person going for IVF is essentially going for an abortion.

IVF technology is completely godless. A person takes on the function of the Lord God, intervenes in what should mysteriously happen in the mother's body.

I'm not talking about the fact that with IVF there are much more miscarriages, much more missed pregnancies. And many more premature babies are born.

We must accept God's Providence

Among Russian women unable to conceive, 70% suffered from abortion

Of course, there are many shades in the topic raised. Sometimes - the result of the sins of the youth of the parents. One of the statistics says that among Russian women who do not have the opportunity to conceive a child, 70% suffered from an abortion. Certain types of contraception also have a detrimental effect on childbearing. In such cases, the person himself deprived himself of the opportunity to give birth to children. It turns out such an absurdity - at first a person does everything possible so that he does not have children, and then he is ready to turn to anything, for example, surrogate motherhood, just to get a child. Such people need, first of all, repentance, to remove from themselves the sinful causes of infertility, and then, as the Lord gives.

I will tell the story of one of my friends. Her name is Evgeniya. She married at 25, and for five years they had no children. She went to doctors, went to a family planning center, which was literally overflowing with women suffering from infertility. Evgenia saw that often the search for a diagnosis and treatment entails a huge waste of money, and as a result, nothing happens, and then doctors offer IVF. Having got acquainted with the IVF method, she realized that she could not resort to this, a protest arose inside, although she was not yet a church person. The fact is that IVF is a gross manipulation of human life: embryos are harvested, preserved, and the excess ones are simply destroyed, that is, the same abortion occurs. Eugenia learned that there are cases when, after a long period of infertility, someone received healing in a miraculous way in the temple. So she came to the idea that only God gives children. Through her infertility, Eugenia came to faith, and her husband was also baptized. She herself confessed and took communion. I read penitential canons, prayers for children.

After the holy spring, she had a dream: she was carrying a basket in which a child was lying.

When Daniil was already going to kindergarten, one day she became ill, bleeding began. It turned out that she was pregnant, but there was a miscarriage. The doctors talked about the complication and the need for some kind of operation, they said that now she would definitely never give birth, except through IVF. Evgenia went to her confessor, who, having prayed, said: “I think that it is not necessary to have an operation, but I bless you for a daughter.” Exactly one month later, she became pregnant - the doctors were shocked. Indeed, a daughter was born, and they named her Anastasia. Evgenia herself firmly understood that children are from God, which means that God should be addressed first of all.

You can’t be guided by emotions alone, you need prudence and prudence

With reasoning, you can resort to medical care: the Lord also created doctors and this profession exists for our benefit.

But if there are no children and no, even despite obvious efforts in keeping piety and prayer, there always comes a moment when the family asks the question: where is the “line of expectation”? And in what? Should I continue to live, completely and humbly relying on the Lord, or adopt children, or should I resort to medical help? It seems that, firstly, everything should be done with reasoning and spiritually, that is, with prayer and advice from the family confessor, again because people are different and circumstances are different. Someone, perhaps, needs to show extreme humility with patience (their faith allows them to do just that), for someone it will be right and good to go to doctors, undergo an examination and resort to their help with reason, because the Lord also created doctors and this profession exists for our benefit, it is not a sin to resort to the help of doctors. But this is where reasoning is needed, because we know that some modern methods of "reproducing" are contrary to God's commandments. So here you have to be careful not to cross the line of what is permitted.

And for some families, in accordance with their location and well-being, perhaps the way opens for the adoption of those unfortunate children who are deprived of paternal and maternal warmth and care. And we know families where there are not one, but several such adopted children, and they, together with their adoptive parents, make up a real big family. This, of course, is the work of God, blessed, but here, too, prudence and prudence are needed so as not to be guided by emotions alone, often transient, remembering that the decision to adopt is a great responsibility, so that “stepping back” will then be akin to the sin of betrayal. May the Lord keep it from this! Therefore, here, too, you need to consult with your confessor, pray hard and soberly assess your strengths and capabilities.

Do everything only with the help and blessing of God

There is no need to speed things up. After all, everything good, and, of course, children, is given to us by God. And gives us in good time

Therefore, you don’t have to do anything yourself, but only with the help and blessing of God, which are most often and mainly taught in the Church, including through the clergy.

The prophet Abraham and Sarah also did not have children for a long time, and God gave them a son - the righteous prophet Isaac. And at an age when it is already physiologically impossible to have children. The Most Holy Theotokos was also born to the righteous Godfathers Joachim and Anna - “The most honest Cherubim and the most glorious Seraphim without comparison,” as the Holy Church sings to Her. And the righteous Zechariah and Elizabeth were born John the Baptist. “Truly I say to you: of those born of women, no greater than John the Baptist has risen” (Matt. 11:11), the Lord tells us. And all because they lived all their lives according to the will of God, they always put the holy will of God above their human will and their human desires.

If there are no children in the marriage and the marriage is unmarried, it is necessary to get married. In all the prayers of the Sacrament of the wedding, the Lord is asked for mercy and the grace of raising children.